Friday, December 24, 2010

Oh Ugly Christmas Tree

Every year I notice that something changes in me, I become more sentimental. For the past couple of years we haven't put any Christmas decorations up. However, this year I felt differently and wanted to put something up. I decided to find an ornament tree, which apparently does not exist and is a figment of my imagination because they were NOWHERE to be found. Instead I found a jewelry tree that did the trick, but I digress...

Anyways, what I wanted the tree for is to put all the ornaments my Mother made for me on. Every. Single. One. Now, I'm sure she's made me more ornaments than what is seen on the tree, but we made these last year together. Well, some of them, she made the garland type thingies, candy canes, and I think I made 1 of the ornaments and she made all of the others.

A picture of the completed tree is below. It's quite ugly, I know - but I could not love it more. It's one of my favorite things. (Don't worry, this isn't Oprah, so you won't be given one.) Many a times Binderclips has found me standing in front of it staring at it with a goofy grin on my face. I absolutely love it. With the garland type stuff on it it kind of looks like a bonsai tree, right?

One of the other things that makes me super duper happy this holiday: The new coats I bought for the dogs. The ones they have on in the pictures below have hoods and I got them monogrammed AND they are wearing scarves too. After I bought the darn coats online I dreamt about how they would look on my little angels until they arrived. (Yes there IS something wrong with me, but I'm comfortable with it, so you should be to.)



Anyways, I know this is a deviation from my normal posts, however I hope that where ever you are and whoever you're spending the holiday with - you're having a great time. I will be spending my holiday with the people I love the most and hope you're able to do the same! That's what the holidays are all about to me, spending time with your loved ones.

PS In other news, Binderclips has informed me that he's "got a blackbelt in text-fu" - so we've been discussing that a lot. Just thought I'd let you know.

Have a great weekend everyone! Happy Holidays!!

Me with my little angels, aren't they cute?


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Case of the Missing Toothpaste

This is my bro. One of the funnest guys in the world. This pic is from last Christmas. He got socks & we felt like he needed a sock-hair-do. It looks good, no?
With the craziness of Christmas quickly approaching it's not uncommon to lose things. You put your shoes somewhere, then forget where and can't find them or maybe it happens with some other article of clothing. In our house it's very common for Binderclips to lose things that are virtually right in front of his face.

Example from this past weekend:

We went shopping and bought him a new bag of socks. I put the socks on the sofa in our bedroom on Saturday night. On Sunday morning I'm in the shower and hear him talking to himself:

Binderclips: Where are my socks? They didn't just get up and run away...grumble, grumble, grumble

Hulabuns (from the shower): I really hope your talking about food out there, 'cause I'm starving

Binderclips: muffled talking

Hulabuns: What are you doing out there?

Binderclips: I can't find my socks

Hulabuns (getting out of the shower): "Try your s-o-c-k drawer" I say spelling "sock" out, thinking 'Great, today is going to be fun. Binderclips is having a slow day.'

Binderclips: I want to wear my new socks. Where are they?

Hulabuns: They are out there somewhere probably right in front of your face. BTW, if you try making food in the k-i-t-c-h-e-n, you might be more productive at feeding your hungry wife. I'm just sayin.

Binderclips: WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?!

Hulabuns: Ok, ok don't get your panties all in a bunch...

Binderclips: *If I don't get to wear my new socks today I will probably kill someone face*

Hulabuns: Look! Your socks, they were right here on the c-o-u-c-h!

Binderclips: Stop spelling everything *If you spell another word I will tackle you face*

Hulabuns: Well, if you would have just been looking with your eyes you would have found them

Binderclips: They were in a bag on the couch, which you conveniently forgot to mention. You basically hid them on me.

Hulabuns: Agree to disagree *I may have hid them to mess with him face*

In response to this I made my facebook status:


Danger: Missing socks on the loose. Not just one, entire new bag. Beware bag CAN be used as a weapon.


When I lose stuff it's usually my fault. I once lost the toothpaste that I had just put on my toothbrush. Totally not kidding. We were getting ready for bed one night. I was in our bathroom getting ready to brush my teeth. I got my toothbrush out, then opened the toothpaste. The toothpaste tube was getting a little low so I had to apply a bit more force to the tube to get the toothpaste out. I squeezed it and pressed down, saw toothpaste come out, then for a brief moment looked away. When I looked back down the toothpaste was gone.

Just at that moment Binderclips walked into the bathroom to see me with confused look on my face. I kept looking back and forth from the toothpaste tube to my toothbrush, then just stood there dumbfounded. When he asked me what I was doing I said "I'm not sure I should tell you. I'm pretty sure I lost my toothpaste." "No you didn't, it's in your hand" he says looking at the tube in my hand. After explaining what had happened we went on a "In Search of" mission to find the missing toothpaste.

Where was it, you ask? On the back of the faucet. Yep, on the back. I must have applied the toothpaste with such force that my toothbrush became a slingshot and that's just where it happened to land. Now, every night Binderclips asks me if I need a "toothpaste assist". I usually do.

Have a great day everyone! Later gators.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Naked Blindless

Hi guys! How's everything going out there? Ready for the weekend/Christmas? I think I'm ready, but we shall see. Just a couple more gifts to pick up.


This guy clearly needed me to help him with his package.

Ummm, almost got it, just a little to the left....

Question: 
If it's night time and people's lights are on and their blinds aren't shut, do you look in? 


Well, I do. Mostly because I'm curious as to how they have things decorated. Also, sometimes you see people doing things you should not see them doing with the blinds open. However, when this happens (to me) I'm so in shock my head doesn't think they are actually doing what they are doing.

Case & point:

Above us live 2 single girls who are in college. They have a shit-ton of plants up there. I know this because while they were out doing internships I watered their plants for a month. They're sweet girls. They're not sisters but look almost identical, it's very confusing actually.

Any ways, one of them has a boyfriend or whatever (she's so sweet I can't imagine her having friends with benefits, so I'm calling him her boyfriend). Plus, if he is her "friend with benefits" he's definitely benefitting 'cause she never has any other guys over and she's super cute.

So, one evening when my best friend was in town we all went out to eat (Binderclips, my BFF, & me). When we came back Binderclips pulled up to the front of our apartment to drop us off. As I looked up I saw some peach colored figures moving around like they were doing vigorous calisthenics. Quickly I said "What ARE they doing up there?" without even thinking about what they were actually doing up there. Which, of course resulted in my BFF and Binderclips promptly looking up there. To which, we all started laughing and I said "Oh, well, I didn't realize they were doing THAT."

Seriously, they looked like they were doing it like rabbits or like they were on fast forward or something. It was impressively fast, whatever they were doing. I mean I know what they were doing, but however they were doing it - that might be a better way to put it.

Have you ever seen someone "doing it" like that and then had to face them the next day? Awkward. 

Me to the girl the next day: Oh hi, how are you? Probably good, right? *winking*

Ok, so I didn't see her and I have no idea what I would've said if I would have. All I can say is let this be a lesson to all of us: Naked + Blindless (aka blinds open) + "doing it" = not a good combination (unless you're into that sorta thing).

Happy Thursday! Later gators.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

He was tall, it was dark, and I was handsome


Look I CAN be handsome....
....problem is I can also be weird at times.

He was tall, it was dark, and I was handsome. What? Binderclips tells me I'm handsome all the time, a woman can be handsome, you know?

Anyways, I was sleeping on the couch in some weird house I had never seen before. I felt like I had had too much to drink because I as I laid there I kept seeing "foggy faces" (you know you recall seeing/speaking to someone but only recall bits and pieces of the conversation?). Just as I was about to fall asleep a tall man entered through the front door, a very tall man - like freakishly tall.

The couch I was laying on was facing a hallway that lead into the kitchen of the house. As the man entered he looked at me. Terrified, I closed my eyes quickly hoping he didn't see me looking at him. He kept walking towards the kitchen, so I figured he didn't see me looking at him. The hallway to the kitchen was long and the entire time the man walked down it he peered over at me several times as I again shut my eyes quickly.

Finally, he reached the kitchen and that's when I got even more terrified for some reason (maybe I was worried about him stealing food? Or the microwave? Who knows). It was at this point that I decided to yell for help and warn others of the man. However, when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I kept trying to say "Help!" but I literally could NOT speak. I tried many times to yell or even just say something but NOTHING was coming out. I didn't try to get up though, I don't know if it was because I couldn't get up or if I just didn't think to get up - either way laying there yelling was the approach I decided to take. Then, I realized that the only time I try to yell and can't is when I'm having a nightmare.

'I must be having a nightmare!' I thought. But instead of thinking 'wake up. wake up. wake up' I thought 'you're not going to be able to yell, so just stop trying'.

So, I stopped trying and drifted off into deep sleep again where my nightmare was again waiting for me. This time the man looked even more sinister; 1 eye seemed to be bulging out more than last time and he seemed more scarred up. 'SHIT!' I thought, I was again terrified, however had no recollection of the first time I had the nightmare. It felt as though I was experiencing the terrifying situation for the first time all over again. So, as soon as he got to the kitchen I decided to try to yell. But, of course, nothing came out. After several unsuccessful attempts I decided I must've been having a nightmare 'cause that's the only time I can't yell when I try to. 'Just stop trying' I thought, then again fell back into a deep sleep where again, the nightmare was waiting for me. This repeated at least 2 more times until....

I finally was able to say "Help!" but it was more like "Hhhh..eellllllllll....P" and I just kept saying it over and over again hoping, no praying that someone would hear me.

Well, someone did. But what I didn't expect was for it to Binderclips. And what I didn't expect on top of that was for him to wake me up saying "OK, wake up" in an irritated tone. Funny thing was that he had woken me up in the middle of me trying to say "help", I think I was actually saying the "eelllllll" part of it.

Binderclips: OK, wake up

Hulabuns: "....eelllll, oh" I say kind of sounding like I'm from England or something. "Errrrr, ummm, was I just talking in my sleep?"

Binderclips: Already rolled over and facing in the opposite direction he says "yeah, and making it impossible for me to sleep"

Hulabuns: What was I saying? Wait, was I saying "help"?... because I was having a terrifying dream

Binderclips: I guess it kind of sounded like "help"

Hulabuns: OMG, it was soo scary. There was this guy...

Binderclips: Can you tell me about it in the morning? I'm kind of trying to sleep

Hulabuns: Sadly I say "ok"

As I lay there I worry the man will appear again. After a couple of minutes I decide to try to tell Binderclips about it, it just can't wait until morning.

Hulabuns: You awake?

No answer...

Hulabuns: I swat at his arm then ask sweetly "Hey, you awake?"

Still no movement...

Hulabuns: I push him, since he's laying on his side, he sways back and forth. Then say, again sweetly "Hey you awake over there?"

Binderclips: Ummm yeah, did you just push me?

Hulabuns: No, why would I do that?

Binderclips: Hmmm, coulda sworn you pushed me...

Hulabuns: Frantically I say "Ok, about my nightmare.... This guy came into this house I was in. He was tall, I mean freakishly tall. And he was elderly and he had a walker with the tennis ball thingies on the ends of the legs...."

Binderclips: Wait. Do you hear yourself? Elderly? With a walker? I'm going back to sleep.

So, I stopped bothering him. (Well, I'm sure me bursting out into a fit of laughter didn't help him sleep restfully, but, seriously, what is wrong with me?) I really was terrified of the elderly man with the walker in my nightmare, that is, until I realized he was an elderly man with a walker.

Sorry about the long post, but do you guys ever fall into the "Yell for help nightmare loop?" or is it just me?

Have a great day! Later gators!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Hulabuns' Battle with Predatory Animals

 
Saw these guys at the Kansas City Zoo a few years ago. Glad I saw them there and not out in the wild as described below.


Happy Saturday everyone! I hope you're having a productive day. I'm planning on making some Garlic & Kale soup, painting, getting a workout in, and shopping a bit. Wish me luck!

I originally posted this back in April, but thought I'd post it again, since it's one of my favorite Hulabuns nightmare stories and I'm pretty sure most of you haven't read it. I have a new one to share as well, but am working on writing it up. I'll try to post it soon. Anyways, enjoy!

This one goes back a couple of years. One night Binderclips and I were sleeping and I was sleeping with my head on his shoulder (this was before we realized what happens to me when I get hot while sleeping, more on that later). So, he was on his back and I was all snuggled up on my side laying towards him with my head on his shoulder, near his ear.

Anyways, I was having a dream that basically was me watching a documentary on predatory animals. It started with the black bear and how it "cautiously sneaks up on elk and moose" (said in a documentary type voice - think Alec Baldwin-ish (but not the yelling at his daughter Alec, more like 30 Rock Alec)). It went on to describe how "the black bear only hunts salmon at night as it's dark fur is easily seen during the day". I found this to be gripping and could not stop watching such a fascinating documentary.

Next came the Snaz fish, in which "sneaks up on it's prey, then, without warning, eats the prey whole in one gulp!" 'HOLY SHIT!' I thought, 'it looks like such a harmless fish'. I was obviously not expecting it to eat the nice little fishy it was following (think Finding Nemo with Dory following around Marlin type deal) whole - in an instant. 'And I thought they were friends!' I thought, devastated.

Then, all of a sudden, I was dropped into the water to compete with the Snaz fish. "Swim quick and keep chomping" said the documentary type voice "you must catch the prey before the Snaz fish does." So, what did I do? I FREAKING STARTING SWIMMING AND CHOMPING SCARED FOR MY LIFE!! I was chomping and swimming and swimming and chomping and just could not catch the darn prey AND THE SNAZ FISH WAS QUICKLY APPROACHING!! I just tried to swim faster and chomp harder!!

Next thing I know I'm looking at Binderclips who's looking at me with a terrified look on his face. I'm awake. 'Crap, guess I lost that competition' I think. "What are you doing??!!" he says (in a terrified voice). I respond with "Oh, I was just having some dream about a documentary in which I was in a competition with the Snaz fish. I had to eat the prey before it did, you know that kind of stuff" (thinking he must have just woken up from a terrifying nightmare himself). I follow it up with "Are you ok? Must have been some nightmare you were having, you look terrified". Still looking terrified he says "NO, I'M NOT OK! I thought you were going to bite me!!" "Bite you! Why would I do that?" I say. "Because you were squirming all around and chomping at my ear!" he says. To which I respond to with a burst of laughter. I flash back to my dream and do recall doing both of those things, however did not think I was really doing them or was I?

I finally get him to believe that I was not actually trying to bite him (it was harder than you might think as we had an incident before this in which he was teasing me with a piece of chocolate and I MAY have bit him, accidentally, of course).

To this day he does not let me live down the Snaz fish incident. In fact, on occasion I find that he's named things 'Snaz Fisheries' (he made something on my computer this name, I forget what it was exactly). We still have discussions on how I came up with "Snaz fish" as the type of fish, which I honestly have no clue why that was it's name. :)

Have a great weekend folks! Later gators!

Originally posted 4/7/2010

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Marriage - It's a Melange of Weirdness & Confusion

Well, it is, at least for Binderclips and I. We're practically masters of being weird (well, Binderclips has this covered at least) and confusing each other as well as others, so I feel like our marriage is definitely a melange of weirdness and confusion.

This is one of our engagement pictures. Notice how we look like we're leaning to one side? Well, we weren't, I assure you. But because of the curve in the bulb it looked like we were.
Anyways, as you all might have noticed just about every 2 weeks there's a fun widget (like there is today) at the bottom of my posts linking to other blogs. I'm a part of a group called the Blog Gang that has several members that post about the same topic every other week. This week our topic is Marriage. If you want to join the Blog Gang please send an email to our fearless leader, errr I mean Blog Gang Organizer Extraordinaire Susie Kline and tell her you're interested.

So, where was I? Oh yeah! I was talking about melons or melange or a melange of melons...

Did I ever tell you guys about how Binderclips and I fight about melons (watermelons, specifically)? No? When they're in season Binderclips insists (I mean INSISTS) on buying watermelons. Nothing infuriates me more than his love for them and him wanting to buy them. Why does it infuriate me, you ask? Well, I will tell you.

Every single time he buys them he sets the melon in the kitchen on the counter. We have a small kitchen with not very much counter space and he leaves it there for DAYS before he cuts it up. This results in the melon taking up valuable space (read: valuable space that I need to cook HIM food) in the kitchen. Infuriating right? In fact, we have taken to arguing in the supermarket about it.

Example:

We're grocery shopping and I'm getting some kale and lettuce, he's nowhere to be seen. I look around (stealthily) and spot him by the watermelons. I break out into a sprint (however, slow down enough ahead of time, so that he doesn't know that I practically ran over to him) to tell him to put the melon down.

Hulabuns: Thinking 'Stay calm. You can do this. You will not kill him over the watermelon. At least not here.' I say "Put the melon down, bucko" (anytime I say bucko, it's not good) "we will have no melons in our cart today."

Binderclips: But look at this one, doesn't it look sad?

Hulabuns: "NO! Well, kind of, but it's still not coming home with us." I say thinking 'There. Take that you weird melon lover.'

Binderclips: *sad face* "I feel bad putting it back. I've already picked it up and everything."

Hulabuns: *are you kidding me face* "Put the melon down."

Binderclips: *glares at me* "Who made you the melon decider?"

Hulabuns: *glares back at him*

Another couple walks by us and looks at us both glaring at each other. We unlock eyes momentarily to smile at the couple, but remain in position to glare back at each other. As soon as they walk past us, our glares at each other resume.

Hulabuns: *glaring* "Really? Melon decider? I seriously cannot believe you say these kinds of things in public."

Binderclips: *are you kidding me face* "I learned from the master. Remember the other day when you were telling me all about the "lettuce rapper" then started making up a lettuce rap IN THE GROCERY STORE?"

Hulabuns: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Binderclips: Do you want me to remind you by singing it right here and now?

Hulabuns: *calling his bluff, you could not pay him to sing in public* "Go ahead, make my day" I say in my best Clint Eastwood voice.

Binderclips: *up to no good face* "Ok, fine" he says then puts the melon down.

We pick up the rest of the groceries, then go to check out. Hmmmm, what's that I spy in the bottom of the cart? That's right folks, a watermelon. I look at Binderclips to see him grinning from ear-to-ear.

Hulabuns: *You will be lucky if that melon makes it to the car face*

Binderclips: Come on, let's hug it out

Moral of the story is, regardless of the type of relationship you have; be it with your Mom, Dad, siblings, friends, or significant other, there's most likely a mixture of something that keeps it going strong. For Binderclips and I our marriage is a mixture of both weirdness and confusion and I wouldn't have it any other way. It seems like there's always a unique mixture of characteristics that cement the bond between us and others. What are your relationships a mixture of? If you feel like sharing, I'd love to hear what they are.
In this one we are leaning to the left to compensate for the curvature in the bulb. We look like we're standing straight up right? I guess our "normal" is abnormal. Oh and yeah, that's our photographer, she managed to block her flash out but had a hard time cutting herself out of the picture.

I hope you have a great day today. Later gators!

PS Thank goodness I wrote this a couple of days ago and all I had to do was post it. I am really sick (I'm actually working with a snow hat on today, just so you know). Must've picked up a bug at the gym or something, but it's kicking my butt (like big time). However, I have to send some major thanks to Vince from Reeds, he had suggested that I drink 4-5 pint glasses of boiled but cooled water with a tablespoon of both lemon juice and honey in it. I have been following this regimen and I think it's helping. So thanks again, Vince!


Monday, December 6, 2010

Facebook Confusion Intrusion

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you're having a great day today.

The below is how I started my morning. I like to call situations like this "Confusion Intrusions" because the confusion just sneaks right up on you. 

I signed onto Facebook to check out what was happening with my peeps and a friend had posted a picture of turkeys that had found their way on her back porch. That wasn't the confusing part.... it starts to get confusing when the "trout" gets mentioned. Do you see a trout in the picture (If you can't see the picture/text, right-click then select "Zoom-In" as many times as necessary or click on "Fullscreen" in the picture window) at all? Look very closely....


Ummmm, no you don't, because there isn't one in the picture.

After looking through some of my friend's other pictures I realized that her cat was named "Trout".  For someone like me (read: very literal) this was VERY confusing. Any who, I hope you got a laugh out of this like I did. 

Later gators!!


Monday, November 29, 2010

Randomness...

1) First, this is what I'm wearing today:

It reads "Wood is Good"
and in the small print below that it says "Protect Our Rainforests" - Pervs ;)


You like? I'm a big fan of this shirt. In fact, I would've bought 2 if they had 2 in my size but sadly they didn't.

2) Binderclips' quotes from this weekend:

"I like beaver not Bieber"*

3) Hulabuns' quotes from this weekend:

To Binderclips "I'm not sure I'm prepared for something that size"**

4) This past weekend Binderclips was driving me, my sister-in-law, her husband, and our niece (she's 4 years old) around. While going around one of the corners to get on the expressway our niece raised her hands like she was on a roller coaster ride. So, what did my sister-in-law and I do (we were in the backseat with her)? We joined in and raised our hands too.

5) When Binderclips and I get mad at each other we "hug it out" to get over it. You should try it, it actually works. The only requirement is that one of you has to say "Come on, let's hug it out" (preferably in an angry tone) to the other.

6) Yesterday my horoscope read: 

Your sex appeal is evident to everyone. Attracting admirers is as simple as gazing into a victim's eyes. 

When I showed Binderclips it, he laughed hysterically then said "Your astrologist must be a comedian." A couple minutes ago he sent me a text that read "Be sure not to look Turner (our dog) in they eyes. with ur sex appeal that could be a dangerous event."

7)  If while driving, you and your spouse are having a disagreement and you decide to wave at the guy dressed up as a leprechaun who's advertising the local income tax preparation services, the disagreement will most likely dissipate immediately. Just an FYI.

I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!

Later gators!

*It's not what you think. Ok, maybe it is.

**This is actually not what you think. No, really, it's not. It was about a watch, the face on it was ginormous and I seriously was not prepared for the size. It kind of was like a punch in the face. :)

PS TB - this is as good as our PhotoBooth software gets for turning off the mirror image, at least you can read it now. Thanks for the suggestion!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Giving Thanks

This is the Missouri History Museum (where we were when I received the call mentioned below).


When I was little my Mom would make dinner for us all and before eating we would all have to say what we were thankful for. I always hated it. I'd usually be thankful for stuff like this:

1) I'm thankful I don't have to sit next to my brother this year

2) I'm thankful that we have food to eat

3) I'm thankful that this will be over soon

4) I'm thankful that Aunt So-and-so isn't too drunk to stand up

Now, at my age, I realize how important it is to recognize what we're thankful for and not take things for granted. I also have a hard time not thinking about what happened 4 years ago around this time of the year. My Mom was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), oh I don't know maybe 8 years or so ago. She also has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, Type II Diabetes, as well as some other stuff. In short, she's in and out of the hospital quite often. However, I can count on my hand how many times I've gotten a call from the doctor saying "Family should get to the hospital as soon as possible to say their final goodbyes". It's actually happened 2 times, just so you know.

Four years ago I received that kind of call. Binderclips and I were in St. Louis on a surprise birthday trip I planned for him. We were at a museum when I received the call. As I walked around the museum and struggled to hear what the doctor was saying I remember hearing the words "septic shock" and "not stable" several times. He proceeded to tell me that "We are keeping her breathing by hand right now, she's so unstable that we can't even intubate her." I was in shock. I also remember feeling absolutely helpless. We live 12-13 hours (drive-wise) away from my parents, but that day I felt like I was a million miles away from them.

Binderclips and I got there as soon as we could, which, wasn't until the next day. Thank goodness she was strong enough to make it through the night. However, when I got there the person I saw laying there did not resemble my Mom in any way, shape, or form. It was terrifying. My Mom was swollen to what seemed like 2 times her normal size. So swollen, in fact, that her eyes were swollen shut. The heartbreak I felt the moment I walked into the room is indescribable. I felt like this was it, we were going to lose her for sure this time.

As I stayed by her bedside day and night holding her swollen, lifeless hand, so many thoughts drifted in and out of my head: What if she passes away? What if she passes away and I don't get to tell her that I love her again? How will I ever survive without her? I cried almost constantly. It was devastating. I needed her, she couldn't leave me now, I just wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.

It wasn't until about 4 days later that she was stable again and it was 11 days until they started to take her off the paralytic to see if she would even come out of it at all. At about 13 days later, she began to open her eyes. It was amazing. We hadn't lost her, she was going to make it. Well, she did make it and she's continued to impress all of us with her determination and stubbornness. She is a strong woman and she's my Mom and I am soo proud of her.

You might be asking yourself why I'm sharing a story like this with you at such a thankful time in the year. Well, I share it with you because that situation helped me realize that I need to not have any regrets. I almost call my parents daily to tell them I love them and it's on very rare occasion that I get angry about anything. That situation taught me to be thankful for the people in my life, thankful that they are a part of it and continue to be. This extends to you guys as well. I can't thank you enough for being a part of my life. Even though you're out there in blog world I appreciate you and all the lessons I learn and/or laughs I get from reading your blogs.

Happy Thanksgiving! I'll be back to blogging on Monday.

Later gators!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

It's a Beautiful Day - NOT


Do you guys have a song that's your designated pick-me-up song? No matter what it cheers you up and brings a smile to your face?

My usual pick-me-up song is U2's A Beautiful Day. However, sadly today it isn't working. :(

Now, this doesn't happen too often, but today I'm downright grumpy. Therefore, hump day today = grump day for me. Ahhh well, at least it's almost over.

Because I'm having a grumpy day I've been doing a lot of thinking, you know how that goes. And after realizing I had a really bad attitude early in the day I decided to remind myself of one of the Rules for Being Human from the book "Life is a Game":

You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day you will be presented opportunities to learn what you need to know. The lessons presented are often completely different from those you THINK you need.

I actually reminded myself of all the rules, but this is the one that spoke the loudest to me today, so - I thought I'd share it with you. I hope it gets you thinking like it got me thinking. What lessons do you think you are meant to learn, do you think they differ from what lessons are being taught to you?

I do. Now I just need to figure out what they are. Wish me luck!

Also, I'd love to hear what your pick-me-up songs are, so please share.

Later Gators!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Bad Blogger


It's a foil hat. What? What's weird about that?

Hey folks! No, I'm not actually talking about Blogger as in what I use to blog, instead I'm talking about me, the blogger. I've been a very bad blogger lately. I mean, I haven't updated my blog since Tuesday, that's not good.

But, I have been super duper busy with work and I'm just gonna come right out and say it, I'm trying to lose 5-10 pounds. That's right, I've been working my fitness and on Thursday I ran 6 miles and my knee was really really really upset about it. I think it's finally forgiven me though, thank goodness. In fact my goal tomorrow is to run 4-6 more, but we'll see how that goes. Wish me luck on that.

Any who, I wanted you guys to know I've been thinking about you. And I thought I'd share a couple of statements that were spoken this very night, that, can be taken several  different ways (or are just plain funny) with you.

1) Me to Binderclips: "You could never get in these pants"

2) Binderclips to me: "Just stay still, that would be sexy"

Ok, so there aren't that many, but you could interpret them several different ways, no? What you should know is that I said #1 to Binderclips while out in public, you know, where other people could hear me. But, I didn't do it on purpose and I most certainly didn't mean it how it sounds.

See, I was talking about the pants I was wearing this evening. Ok, so that still doesn't sound good. What I meant was that the pants, when I bought them, were super duper tight and I couldn't even get into them. So, when I said "you could never get into these pants" I meant myself. The pants were tight and I hardly got into them at the store prior to buying them, because they have 2% spandex in them. I know what you're thinking and the answer is "no, I did not buy the pants at an adult store". They are made out of 98% organic cotton and the left over 2% is spandex. OK? Anyways, at the end of the night they had stretched out to the point that my pants were dragging on the ground. Which, makes me think of this, but that is totally NOT what I mean. The pant legs were dragging on the ground, I was not wearing my pants like a gangsta, letting them drag on the ground - just so we're clear here.

The second thing is what Binderclips said to me when I said "If I did that I would not look sexy like Beyonce does" in response to seeing this commercial. His response was "Yeah, you should just stay still, that would be sexy".

Ahhhh, to be me. Oh well, at least we're always having a good time, right?

I hope you all are having a great weekend!

Later gators!!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Invisible Doggie Teletransportation



Hello Everyone! I've been super duper busy with work lately, that's why I haven't been posting as often. Also, I joined Twitter and am trying to figure it out. As TB stated in one of her posts "Twitter Confuses Me", well and it apparently confuses me too.  Wish me luck with that, oh and if you are on Twitter, look a girl up, ya know?

Also, just so you know, in my next post I plan to explain the last picture in my last post as well as provide some others (believe me, you won't want to miss them). Anywho, I thought I'd share a recent conversation between Binderclips and I with you. It went a little like this:

Binderclips calls me from work...

Hulabuns: Hi Monkeypantalones!

Binderclips: Hi Ape. How's it going?

Hulabuns: Good. What's up?

Binderclips: Is one of the dogs chewing on your headset microphone?

Hulabuns: I look at the dogs, I can see them playing in the living room (roughly 20 feet away). Then say "Yep, one of them used the new doggie teletransport device that we have. However, I'm not sure which one because prior to using it they used the invisible doggie dust."

Binderclips: Do you think we should get some ice cream to eat for tonight?

Hulabuns: Really? So, you're not even going to respond? Did you even hear what I said?

Binderclips: Yeah, something about doggie teletransportation.

Hulabuns: You forgot about the invisible doggie dust.

Binderclips: No I didn't, I was just wondering how either of the dogs found it if it's invisible?

Hulabuns: I sit in silence thinking 'Man, he's getting better at this game than I thought'

Binderclips: "Wait. So, have you lost one of the dogs?" he says in a serious and worried tone.

Hulabuns: Probably

Binderclips: "Seriously, did you lose a dog?" he says with urgency

Hulabuns: "I'm not really sure, seeing how they got a hold of the invisible doggie dust" I say. Then follow it up with "It makes them invisible, you know?"

Dogs start barking at some noise outside.

Binderclips: "I can hear them both, thank goodness" he says relieved.

One more thing, I changed the comments so that I have to approve them before they are visible. I did this  so that friends that are following won't accidentally leave our real names in their comments. Just thought I'd let you know.

Later Gators!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Damn! That's a Nice Dam





As I've been promising for a while now, here are the pictures from our tour of the Hoover Dam! I believe at the end of the pictures you will be saying "Damn! That's a nice dam!" So, prepare yourselves for it folks!


Picture from the helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon, we got to fly over the Dam on our way in.


Another helicopter view, however this time it includes the new bridge  - the Colorado River Bridge. The bridge officially opened on 10/19/2010 - so shortly after we left the Vegas area.

These are the 4 intake towers that draw in water from the river to create energy. The 2 intake towers in the back of the picture are located in Nevada and the 2 in the front are located in Arizona.

Power plant what!? Yep, this is the power plant IN the Hoover Dam.  There are 6-7 generators that generate energy based on the flow into the intake towers.


Colorado Bridge view from on top of the Hoover Dam.
Want to know what I'm doing in the below picture*? Come back in a couple of days, I have plenty more pictures where this photo came from! ;)

Later gators!!



*BTW, I do know that this is a TERRIBLE picture of me...but, I also know that you all will appreciate it. I do this stuff only for you folks. ;)

Monday, November 1, 2010

WARNING: Eating Candy Results in A LOT of Math for Me

This is an old picture of me eating popcorn that Binderclips made on the campfire. We were camping at Holland State Park in Holland, MI.

I hope everyone had a great Halloween and didn't eat too much candy! Last night Binderclips and I were hanging out and I told him I just wanted one bite size MilkyWay candy bar (again, just 1). It's at that point that he decided that he needed to go to the store, then proceeded to come home with an entire bag of MilkyWay fun size candy bars AND an entire bag of 3 Musketeers also. The serving sizes/calories for the fun size snack bars equates to the following:


MilkyWay (Serving Size 2 bars)

Calories: 160

Fat Calories: 50 (or 6g)

Carbohydrates: 24g

Protein: 1g



3 Musketeers (Serving Size 3 bars)

Calories: 190

Fat Calories: 50 (or 6g)

Carbohydrates: 34g

Protein: 1g


Why does this matter? Well, any time I consider eating any kind of sweets I review this information as well as the ingredients. For the purpose of this post I'm going to not focus on the ingredients because, let's face it folks, the ingredients are not good (both include hydrogenated oils and corn syrup as well as other not-so-favorable stuff).

Any who, do you ever read the calorie information and wonder what on earth it all means? Well, I'm going to break it down for you. Basically, the grams listed on the packaging are converted to calories by multiplying the grams of protein, fat, and carbs by the number of calories yielded per gram of each nutrient.

So, for fats - each gram is multiplied by 9 to give you the number of calories. For carbs and proteins - each gram is multiplied by 4 to give you the number of calories per serving. Therefore, for the MilkyWay:

Fat calories = 6 grams X 9 calories per gram = 54 calories from fat

Carbohydrate calories = 24 grams X 4 calories per gram = 96 calories from carbs

Protein calories = 1 gram X 4 calories per gram = 4 calories from protein

Total calories = 54 + 96 + 4 = 154 calories*


If you're still thinking 'So what?' - think about this: To lose one pound you have to burn 3500 calories in one week, or in other words, burn 500 calories per day for each day of the week (500 X 7 = 3500). Consider that running or walking a mile roughly results in 100 calories being burned. So, if you were going to create a deficit of 500 calories per day by exercise alone - you would need to run or walk 5 miles A DAY. The better approach is to create this deficit by eating 250 less calories per day and to burn 250 calories by also doing some type of physical activity.

Anyways, do you see what happens to me?! I become a calorie calculating weirdo. Sigh. My best bet is to stay away from the candy and sweets, otherwise I am constantly doing math. While I do think that focusing on calorie counting isn't the best way to go, it's just what happens when I eat crappy food. In addition, when I'm on the treadmill I am constantly calculating things....it's apparently just a problem I have. Oh well! I hope your Monday is treating you well. I'll post the Hoover Dam pictures next time.

*Total calories listed on the package also take into consideration fiber and therefore, may result in your calculations not necessarily being what is posted on the packaging. Also, the FDA allows some wiggle room on what is posted for calories on packaging - this results in some discrepancies in regards to what is posted verses what you calculate as well.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Halloween What?

Hello out there in blog world! So, what's going on with you guys? It seems like I'm forgetting something....oh that's right! I almost forgot that Halloween is just around the corner. Geesh! Thank goodness I have an idea for coming up with a costume in a pinch. You must hear about it! 


First, a reminder that, I can be pretty... but, only when I want to be (well, when I'm having a good hair day - naturally curly hair makes for lots of bad hair days, by pure luck my hair looks ok today). Ok, so I was saying...

Mmmmmm, look a chocolate muffin!

What's this? Oh a chocolate chip*! Hey, I have an idea...


...if I put it on my tooth like so, maybe it will look like....
...I have a missing tooth.** HA! Success! And I'm soo scary that Turner can't bare to look at me anymore. Hmmmm, what else could I add to this to make it a full costume?

How about a scarf from the closet, an eye patch (doesn't everyone have an extra eyepatch laying around??), and a hook made out of foil?? Now all I need is pirate talk!
Only a nancy-pants can be keelhaulin' on the treasure chest.
 I shall hornswaggle that reef monkey with my anchor. By the foul bowels of Davy Jones! Arrrrrrggggghhhh!***



 In addition, all I have to do is put on the a white button up shirt (I'm thinking tuxedo style) and some tight, black capri pants, funky tights, well and some jewelry and WALA!! Now, if you find yourself in a pinch you can come up with a costume and everyone loves pirate costumes (and if they don't, they should)!! (Plus, you have an excuse to talk like a pirate the entire night!)


Happy Halloweening everyone!!


Some Halloween Facts:
-Ancient Celts thought that ghosts/spirits wandered the streets on Hallows Eve, because they didn't want to get recognized as human by them, they would wear masks/costumes.
-Halloween is the second most commercially successful holiday, Christmas is the first.


*Any dark foods can be used, i.e. fudge, chocolate cake, etc. They also sell black wax just for this purpose, however I find that food is much more fun - and tasty!


**For Binderclips' sake I feel it should be noted that he hates this post, specifically the pictures of me with the chocolate chip on my tooth. He told me "you're pretty and I don't like seeing pictures of you like that" - which, is actually kind of sweet. That's why I posted a picture of me beforehand - for his sake, just an FYI.


***The pirate quotes above are randomly generated from this site, which I linked to in another post referring to gangsta talk. Check it out!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Vegas Baby!! (Grand Canyon)









Hello Everyone! Binderclips had a conference to attend in Las Vegas last Monday through Wednesday - so, we decided to fly out the Friday prior to that and do some sight seeing over the weekend. You may not know this (or you may) but I work from home, so I just worked from the hotel room while he was at the conference during the week.

Anyways, here's a picture of the room we stayed in. Pretty nice, huh? We ended up staying at the Wynn, an upscale Hotel/Casino there. The 3rd picture is of our view out the window. Not too shabby if you ask me!

If you're going to Vegas, I'd recommend staying at the Wynn if you can get a good price on the room (read: NOT $220, which is what the room usually goes for, believe me, we didn't pay that and his employer paid for Sunday through Tuesday night). You can get cheaper rooms at other Hotel/Casinos, like the Luxor (where we stayed last time we went), however the bed was not nearly as comfortable as the bed at the Wynn.


This was the food bar in our room. Doesn't it look nice? All the stuff a person might crave at some point. Want something salty? How about some chips or popcorn? Got a sweet tooth? How about some jelly beans, chocolate, or cookies? Or are you thirsty? The water from the Fiji Islands awaits you...wait, what is this sign they have posted on this stuff? Let me take a closer look.



HOLY CARP!! I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T PICK ANYTHING UP!!!!! The food bar had a timer on it that - if you removed something for more than 60 SECONDS they charged you for it!! 

"Feel free to read the ingredients or count calories. If you decide to indulge...and we hope you do..." Yeah right, it's more like "if you decide to pick anything up and NOT EAT it, we hope you're slow or drunk and it takes you longer than 60 seconds to return the item, so that we can charge you for NOT EATING it." 

I considered buying some of that CAUTION tape and putting it across the top of the stuff (in the style of a giant "X") - but decided against it. Instead Binderclips and I stayed away from it all together. All I could imagine is me deciding to look at the calories on something, Binderclips walking into the room, seeing what I was doing, yelling at me to hurry up and put the item back, and me throwing it in the air across the room due to him startling me. In this scenario we both scramble to find the item (who knows where it would end up, under the bed, perhaps?), then find it and return it exactly 61 seconds later. Seriously, with all the alcohol that is flowing in this city, someone is bound to fall for that one - but not us, thank goodness!

On Saturday morning we signed up a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon. On the way we passed over the Hoover Dam (see first picture below). We travelled by bus to do a tour of the Hoover Dam on Sunday morning, I will post those pictures soon.

The rest are pictures of the Grand Canyon as we flew over it as well as Lake Mead (the largest man-made lake in the Western Hemisphere formed after the creation of the Hoover Dam) and the Colorado River. It was a little dusty that day, so the colors aren't as vibrant as we would have hoped for, just a FYI. I hope you enjoy the pictures! Pictures from our Hoover Dam tour (we actually went inside it and saw the Power Plant) to follow.

Later gators!!










Saturday, October 23, 2010

Conversations with Binderclips



The cutest dogs EVER ;)

From top to bottom: 1) Turner aka "Bubs" and 2) Callie aka "Cals"


As you all know, Binderclips and I are not the best at communicating, especially with each other. Here's a perfect example of how most of our conversations go:

We're at the gym, both on treadmills right next to each other watching TV. CNN is on and a clip about Apolo Ohno (the speed skater) is being shown. I say "Hey isn't that Ohno?".

Binderclips: As to confirm he says "Ohno"

Hulabuns: I think 'Hehehehe! He fell into my trap' laugh my best villan laugh inside my head then say "Oh yes it is!" then start laughing hysterically

Binderclips: Really? So, we're doing that today are we?

Hulabuns: "I don't know what you're talking about" I say - still laughing

A couple of minutes pass...

Binderclips: Hey, I really like those shorts on you. They really compliment your feet.

Hulabuns: "My feet?" I say then look at my feet to make sure I don't have toilet paper stuck on my shoe or something. I don't.

Binderclips: Yeah, your feet.

Hulabuns: "My feet?! How do shorts compliment feet?" I say all confused-like

Binderclips: Well, they compliment the appendages attached to your feet.

Hulabuns: I just stare at him, unimpressed

Binderclips: "I think we should throw your other shorts away" he says, referring to a pair of running shorts I've had longer than I've known him. The elastic has actually broke on the waistband and I have to fold the top down so that they stay up.

Hulabuns: "Not a chance, Bucko" I say then follow it up with "If you throw them away without my knowledge like you did my ladle, we are going to seriously throw down."

Binderclips: mumble, mumble, mumble "Turner", mumble

Hulabuns: What?

Binderclips: I said I'm going to give your shorts to Turner.... mumble, Ore Ida, mumble

Hulabuns: Ore Ida?? What on Earth are you talking about? Ore Ida hashbrowns?

Binderclips: I said I'm going to give your shorts to Turner, so that he can hide them.

This is my life folks! Binderclips and I live in a constant state of confusion with each other and we wouldn't have it any other way. I plan to post pictures from our trip to Vegas in  my next post - so look for them (can anyone say Grand Canyon?). I hope you're having a good weekend.

Later Gators! Oh and GO STATE!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Grrrrrrratitude - Blog Giveaway

I've been out of town since Friday and am having blog withdrawls - AHHHHHH! I needed a quick fix, so here I go. The good news is I have some hilarious pictures to share with you all (I mean hill-air-E-ous) from my trip. The bad news is I'm not home yet, so you'll have to wait for them.
Anyways, remember Tony the Tiger and how he used to say "They're Grrreat!" about Frosted Flakes? Well, I think you guys (insert me pointing and winking repeatedly at you here) are grrreat! And I feel overwhelmed with grrrratitude for you guys. I have been thinking about how to thank you and this is what I've come up with:
 
I'm going to paint a picture, similar to the picture below and send it to one of you in my very first Blog Giveaway! YAY - exciting, right?


KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) Giveaway Rules


The below giveaway entry option is how to enter the giveaway and to help increase your chances of winning.

1. Leave a comment on this blog telling me what Binderclips and HulaBuns Chronicles post is your favorite. Please make sure to leave your email address so that I can contact you in the event you win. The more comments you leave the better the chances you have of winning. I'm just sayin...

I will leave you with this as a parting gift:

What do you call the body's natural response to bad Mexican food?

wait for it........



MUCHAS GASSY ASS


Man, cracking myself shouldn't be so easy. Any who, good luck in the giveaway!

Later Gators!

Important Notes – Please Read
All winners will be chosen via Random.org. Winners will be chosen within one week of the giveaway closing and will be posted once the prize is claimed by the chosen winner. If the person chosen does not respond to contact within 72 hours a new winner will be chosen.

This blog will make every effort to deliver prizes or have prizes delivered to the winner. However in the unlikely scenario that the prize doesn't make it to the intended recipient; this blog and its author are not responsible for giveaway prizes that are lost in transit or damaged.