Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Case of the Missing Toothpaste

This is my bro. One of the funnest guys in the world. This pic is from last Christmas. He got socks & we felt like he needed a sock-hair-do. It looks good, no?
With the craziness of Christmas quickly approaching it's not uncommon to lose things. You put your shoes somewhere, then forget where and can't find them or maybe it happens with some other article of clothing. In our house it's very common for Binderclips to lose things that are virtually right in front of his face.

Example from this past weekend:

We went shopping and bought him a new bag of socks. I put the socks on the sofa in our bedroom on Saturday night. On Sunday morning I'm in the shower and hear him talking to himself:

Binderclips: Where are my socks? They didn't just get up and run away...grumble, grumble, grumble

Hulabuns (from the shower): I really hope your talking about food out there, 'cause I'm starving

Binderclips: muffled talking

Hulabuns: What are you doing out there?

Binderclips: I can't find my socks

Hulabuns (getting out of the shower): "Try your s-o-c-k drawer" I say spelling "sock" out, thinking 'Great, today is going to be fun. Binderclips is having a slow day.'

Binderclips: I want to wear my new socks. Where are they?

Hulabuns: They are out there somewhere probably right in front of your face. BTW, if you try making food in the k-i-t-c-h-e-n, you might be more productive at feeding your hungry wife. I'm just sayin.

Binderclips: WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?!

Hulabuns: Ok, ok don't get your panties all in a bunch...

Binderclips: *If I don't get to wear my new socks today I will probably kill someone face*

Hulabuns: Look! Your socks, they were right here on the c-o-u-c-h!

Binderclips: Stop spelling everything *If you spell another word I will tackle you face*

Hulabuns: Well, if you would have just been looking with your eyes you would have found them

Binderclips: They were in a bag on the couch, which you conveniently forgot to mention. You basically hid them on me.

Hulabuns: Agree to disagree *I may have hid them to mess with him face*

In response to this I made my facebook status:

Danger: Missing socks on the loose. Not just one, entire new bag. Beware bag CAN be used as a weapon.

When I lose stuff it's usually my fault. I once lost the toothpaste that I had just put on my toothbrush. Totally not kidding. We were getting ready for bed one night. I was in our bathroom getting ready to brush my teeth. I got my toothbrush out, then opened the toothpaste. The toothpaste tube was getting a little low so I had to apply a bit more force to the tube to get the toothpaste out. I squeezed it and pressed down, saw toothpaste come out, then for a brief moment looked away. When I looked back down the toothpaste was gone.

Just at that moment Binderclips walked into the bathroom to see me with confused look on my face. I kept looking back and forth from the toothpaste tube to my toothbrush, then just stood there dumbfounded. When he asked me what I was doing I said "I'm not sure I should tell you. I'm pretty sure I lost my toothpaste." "No you didn't, it's in your hand" he says looking at the tube in my hand. After explaining what had happened we went on a "In Search of" mission to find the missing toothpaste.

Where was it, you ask? On the back of the faucet. Yep, on the back. I must have applied the toothpaste with such force that my toothbrush became a slingshot and that's just where it happened to land. Now, every night Binderclips asks me if I need a "toothpaste assist". I usually do.

Have a great day everyone! Later gators.


  1. LMAO. I love the missing toothpaste.

    My DH is incapable of finding anything for himself. He will open the fridge to get out the milk and ask me where it is. Never mind that it's in the same place it's been for the last 13 years!

  2. What a funny story!! In our house its usually me that loses stuff, like my reading glasses sitting elusively on my head where I can't roll my eyes far enough back in my head to see them. ;)

  3. The toothpaste thing has happened to me before too! It reminds me of the scene in There's Something About Mary where he's looking for...um...something sticky...that he lost before his date with Mary. I'm always afraid that my phantom toothpaste is going to wind up on my face or my ear. :-/

  4. Thank God you told us those were socks on his head. I was thinking, "Poor guy must be single and doesn't have a partner to tell him he looks like "Princess Leah"
    Spelling where things are. You are a friggen genius!! I never thought of that before. Thank you for that helpful tip. I shall use that in the future. As long as its not a big word that I can't spell.
    Mr. Binderclips must have thought you lost your mind when you hid the toothpaste on yourself. You should have told him that you wanted to see if he was a good finder bee.
    Funny post!

  5. Funny stuff!!! Never had the toothpaste go missing but the socks are always running away !

  6. Laughing my royal Irish arse off. I can hear the sound effects on the vagabond toothpaste.
    I KNEEEW you women set out in the morning with that shit on your mind. WE POOR MEN blundering about with the belief in a peaceful life. HA, bloody PESTS. ;)

  7. This happens every day in our house. Last week, my wife moved the coffee maker to the other side of the kitchen counter (about four feet) and I woke her up so I could get some java. She was not thrilled, but used to it. When my kids were young, I would lose their shoes every time I took them out of the house. My wife could never understand it. She can spell all she wants, but I still can't find anything important to me - like socks!

  8. I saw a "There's Something about Mary" moment developing here. I'm glad it stayed G-rated.

  9. The other day I was talking to someone on my cell phone while simultaneoulsy looking for my cell phone.

  10. This all reminds me of when I'm looking for my cell phone while talking on it. Missed periods I do that all of the time too. But I will say men seem to loose stuff and don't even attempt to look for it. It's usually right in front of them. LOL!

  11. I was excepting the lost toothpaste to be found when he stepped in it! Good stories of regular life... I lost my cell phone last week--I had been getting stuff out of the back of my truck and must of knocked it off my belt--looked all over the house, through the truck, to the office... it was in the snow next to where my truck had been parked.

  12. hahaha usually when i loose my toothpaste i find it on my clothing, lucky for you it was on the faucet because colgate total is a bitch to get out of your outfit! loved the post :)

  13. OK. My Hubs is exactly the same!!! He always has to ask me where something is, and it's not good enough for me to just simply tell him because he STILL will not see it even if I let him know exactly where it is. I must physically retrieve it. Haha.

  14. Carolyn: Thanks! I honestly wasn't sure we'd find it. What is with guys and not looking with their eyes?! Weirdos. ;)

    Coupon Queen: Thank you! Lately Binderclips has lost his socks a lot and not from me knocking them off. Hehehehe. ;)

    TB: Has it really happened to you before?! Oh I'm so glad I feel somewhat normal now!

    Bernie: Oh yeah, spelling things out really gets to him, which I find to be very funny. LOL

    Midwestern Mama Holly: Toothpaste assists are a must in our household since this incident. Maybe we need to initiate a sock assist to?

    Vince: I'm only a pest when absolutely necessary! Hehehehehe :D

    JJ: Spelling things doesn't help Binderclips either, but it does irritate him and since he's irritating me by asking me such things I feel it's only necessary to do it back. LOL

    Lightning Bug's Butt: You never know with us! ;)

    Missed Periods & Climb2Nowhere: Oh I have done that before! :D Sounds like birds of a feather flock together. LOL, I feel like a grandma for typing that. I think I need some coffee.

    Sage: I'm so glad you found your cell phone. Those things are so easy to lose! Did it still work?

    Constar: Thanks for the compliment! I spill stuff on myself all the time too. :)

    Sassy Sassy: Men are ridiculous! I usually tell Binderclips I gave the stuff he's looking for away. "Where is my hat?" he says. I say "I gave it away to a guy walking by, it seemed like it'd be a good color on him." :D