Tuesday, September 28, 2010

NASA News is Dangerous

Picture origin:
I've got a white-knuckle grip on the thing....well, the parts of it that aren't made out of marshmallows, anyways. Actually, I can't really tell what the part that I have this white-knuckle grip on is made of. My first thought is candy canes, but I look down and no dice... 'I should've figured as much since it didn't feel sticky' I think to myself. Maybe it's made of some new element that was made for such an occasion? By "occassion" I mean - made to withstand the amount of heat in the Sun's corona...

Mmmmmmm, I could use a corona right about now. I picture myself on a beach, relaxing on a lounge chair with a corona in hand. Then I start to feel immense heat. 'Holy shit am I hot!' I think 'where the eff is this beach located anyways?' Then realize I'm not on a beach at all, but instead am being propelled towards the sun on a probe made of marshmallows.

How did I get so off track in my thought process? Oh, errr, oh yeah, the Sun's corona, that's right. Did you know that the corona is a layer of the Sun's atmosphere? Either did I until recently, but I'll come back to that in a few. Now, back to the marshmallow probe that I'm on.

As we thrust closer and closer to the Sun through the atmosphere the marshmallow melts and flies off the probe, passing by me and missing me at narrow margins. I hang onto the probe wondering how I, myself, do not melt and fly off. I've got some crazy outfit on that looks like a normal astronaut's outfit but it's green, I mean like bright green (think fluorescent green). It's made out of something that looks similar to a what the Stay Puff marshmallow guy looked like in the movie Ghostbusters.

This is actually me and some of my friends on segways, just in case you needed a mental picture. I'm the one in the dorky yellow helmet.

The probe looks like a segway (see picture above). Everything but the handle bars and the platform are made of marshmallows. 'Well, at least I'm not being left behind by other astronauts this time' I think as I remind myself of the time I was abandoned by astronauts. Just as I think this I see a meteor heading right at me. I duck so that it misses me, then wake up.

I wake up to realize that I'm hot. 'Surprise, surprise' I think. When I get hot while sleeping I tend to have nightmares (see both The Abandoned By Astronauts and The Snaz Fish incidents for examples of this). This combined with the fact that I "should not be allowed to read any NASA news what-so-ever" per Binderclips - also, usually results in nightmares for me.

So, in short, Binderclips is right, I shouldn't read NASA news because it's dangerous for both him (he does have to sleep with me, again if you have not read The Snaz Fish incident, you need to) and I. BUT - I refuse to stop reading it, so - that's right folks, you can look forward to more nightmares in the future. If you're interested in reading the article I was reading click on this. Basically, in 2018 NASA is going to send a probe towards the Sun's corona to collect data about it, which, will NOT have anybody on it and probably will not be made of marshmallows.

Later gators!

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Eye of Chaos

Happy Fall everyone! I took this picture last fall. I hope you like it!

Hello Folks! How is everyone out there in blog world? Doing well?

Me, I'm doing ok. Had kind of a stressful week last week. Went home to find out my mom hasn't been doing that well (she has COPD - chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, CHF, diabetes, etc.) and had to be admitted to the hospital. She's doing much better as of today, however it's always hard to see someone you love struggling; I'm sure we've all experienced that at some point and if you haven't, be thankful, it's hard.

Although, during last week's happenings I learned something...

When Binderclips and I arrived at my parents' at first it was a shock. We live a couple of states away and only get to see our families, oh, I don't know, 2 times a year or so. Don't get me wrong, I still talk to my parents almost daily, but we don't get to see them that often at all. Anyways, what I learned is that when you are away from situations for long periods of time and are thrown right back into them, it's stressful and almost like a shock to your system.

Prior to moving I was involved in everything (really I still am) having to do with my parents. I am the power of attorney for my mom in the event something happens and still help/handle their finances on a regular basis. However, when my mom would end up in the hospital - I was used to it, I mean, seeing her like that. It was almost like the homeostasis of our family was chaos and I was really used to it (we all were). Almost as if, we had fought ourselves through the chaos of a tornado to find our way to the center of it, where the calm is - despite the craziness happening all around us we remained calm because that's what we were used to.

However, last week I felt like I was on the outside again and had to make my way back to the calm eye of the tornado. I wish I could have had a warning of some kind, honestly. As soon as we walked into my parent's home I was hit by the emotional tornado. My mom was having difficulty holding her own utensils to feed herself and couldn't walk as well as she had been able to when they came to stay with us back in May of this year. I felt like I was turned upside down and twirling all around in a tornado of emotions almost instantly upon arriving.

'Here comes guilt, this is going to hurt' I think as it hits me directly in the face. 'Oh, and here comes sadness ready for it's close up' I tell myself as it turns me upside down. 'Don't forget about defeat' as it slams me into the ground forcefully. By the end of the first day I felt really beat up and, quite honestly, like I had been through a tornado.

I learned that with pain and struggle come a lot of good. Even though I felt beat up at the end of the week, I know my dad and Binderclips felt that way too. I could at least take comfort in knowing that when I found myself back to the eye of the tornado my dad would be there waiting for me (and Binderclips and my brother) and that we were all in it together. It's a hard road but I wouldn't want to experience it without the support of the people I love the most surrounding me. Thanks Binderclips for wiping the guilt off of my face and telling me it had no right there.

Kind of a sappy post, but what the hey, ya know? I hope everyone has a great day today. :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Alternate Post - Same Pictures

After looking at the Hand Gestury 101: What NOT to Do post (pictures only), I've decided an alternate post is necessary using the same pictures. I feel as if the pictures also effectively communicate something important; namely, how to eat an imaginary sandwich. Let me be more specific (WARNING: I have an overactive imagination that can be perceived as razycaz):

I'm sitting at my desk thinking 'Hrrrmmmmmm.... I'm hungry. If only I had something around here to eat'  I say as I look around on the desk. 'Oooooo, look an imaginary sandwich! YAY' I think. 'Imaginary sandwiches are the best! No calories and no chance of spilling anything on myself! Jackpot!' I think giddily. I pick up the sandwich and slowly draw it towards my mouth (sandwich, remember it's a sandwich) and take a bite. 

Imaginary sandwich bite replay
Yummm! Surprisingly, it's my favorite (I don't know why it's a surprise, I am imagining it, so it should be my favorite)! I don't really like bread so I've decided "the sandwich" is actually a salad that I can eat with my hands and not get all over myself. So, it's really a saladwich.  
See how happy I am now that I have had a bite of my saladwich

When I get done eating my saladwich I remind myself why imaginary food is so great:

Look! I didn't even get anything on me! That's the beauty of imaginary food! Also, I have no regrets about calories, because there were none!

YEP! It's confirmed, I've officially lost it! :)

Any who, if you have any other ideas for alternate captions I'd love to hear them. If not, that's ok too! I'm just glad you stopped by. Have a great weekend everyone.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Hand Gestury 101: What NOT to Do

Are you a hand gesturer/hand talker? Do you feel it's necessary to add hand gestures to what you are saying to effectively communicate what you are trying to say (I've also dubbed this 'handimation')? Well, the answers to these questions for me are yes and always. 

However, I've realized that non-hand gesturers find my handimation distracting. In fact, sometimes I will notice they're looking at my hands and not paying attention to a word I am saying. This isn't good, because in their defense, most of the hand gestures I make do not have anything to do with what I'm saying and are distracting.

Some of my favorites:

"I'm hungry. Want to get something to eat?"

Similar to "I'm hungry",  however instead I'm saying "So and so would like to talk to you" or "'Zip it".

Although, if I was doing this (see picture below) what do you think I would be trying to say to you??

Here are a couple of options:
  1. "You want some of this? Cause I'll take my earrings off if I need to." If close enough to you an aggressive chest bump may follow (I may also be already taking my earrings and shoes off) accompanied with 'crazy eyes'.
  2. "Look at this face, isn't this a face only a mother can love? Wait, don't answer that, I don't really want to know the answer."
  3. "That's our parking spot jackhole"
  4. "I was going to be a hand model, but look at these mitts! I'd never make it..."
  5. "Do you think wearing this red fleece with the green shirt underneath is too Christmasy?"
  6. "See these things (referring to my hands)? They are deadly weapons. Don't make me use my fierce and stealthy ninjaness on you."
  7. "Aaaaaaaaay" said in a Fonzy-type way (if you never watched the show Happy Days, you have no clue what this means, just imagine Danny from Grease saying it).
Ok, let me stop there, I could go on and on with options, in fact, it's actually quite fun coming up with them. So any guesses?

Well, the answer is: "That's our parking spot jackhole"

However, it was taken as: "You want some of this?"

This is a lesson on what NOT to do when practicing hand gestury/handimation. While moving Binderclips to the Kansas this situation arose. We had a 20 or 24 foot long moving truck that we used to move his things and in tow was his car. Well, we needed gas and, as you know (if you have ever driven a truck that size with a car in tow), a significant amount of planning and coordination needs to occur to manipulate something that size into a gas station parking lot to get gas. 

We had spotted a pump we could get the truck into, but a lady in a teeny, tiny car tried to take our spot just as we were trying to pull into it. So, I made the above hand gesture thinking "that's our parking spot jackhole" (without Binderclips knowing). 

When Binderclips got out of the truck the lady said "Hey, your girlfriend is trying to start a fight with me", to which, he ignored her. When he got back into the truck he told me what she said and I started laughing thinking "What on Earth?! Yeah, lady I wanted to fight you" sarcastically. Then I replayed the hand gesture in my head and realized how she could've taken it that way. I told Binderclips and he decided that I was not able to make any more hand gestures the rest of the way home. 

My question, surely other people have these types of things happen to them, right? :)

Monday, September 13, 2010

How I got HulaBuns as a Nickname

This is the story of how I got "Hulabuns" as a nickname...

Binderclips and I were at a party, oh I don't know, maybe 8 or so years ago with some of our closest friends. We had been hanging out for quite some time just chatting when everyone started to get hungry. The men of the group decided to cook up some food. Hot dogs and hamburgers.

Wait, let's take a couple of steps back...did I mention that our friends are hilarious? Well, they are. Whether they are chasing bats around their apartments, driving by Binderclips and I and exclaiming "I have a plan!" then driving off quickly, "being bears", threatening to punch someone, wanting to do a "hand sprain"(aka handspring), or singing Flight of the Conchords songs (binary solo anyone?) or trying to work the word "egg rolls" into Christmas songs at the family Christmas party - they are always a good time (I'll have to tell these stories at some point).  One of them (let's call him "Kirk"), in particular, is responsible for my nickname.

Anyways, as they cooked up hot dogs and hamburgers people started getting rambunctious and standing around everywhere (right in the way of the kitchen). In an attempt to organize things slightly Kirk decided to take tabs on who wanted what. He started asking people if they wanted hamburgers or hotdogs and bunning* them up as necessary and handing them out to people. Well, this caused even more craziness in the kitchen area. After people started getting their food they would go into the small kitchen to dress their hotdogs and hamburgers with ketchup, mustard, etc.

Soon, the buns had been moved and Kirk was looking for them. However, I appeared out of the crowd of people and was standing in front of Kirk (not noticing that he was looking for them), ready to give him my order.

Kirk: He says "Who the...buns?" (as he looks around for the buns), but I hear "HulaBuns"

Me: What did you call me?

Kirk: Looks at me disapprovingly with a 'Really?' type of expression on his face

Me: Did you just call me HulaBuns?

Kirk: "Ummmm....." (he seems to consider explaining it all to me, but then decides against it), he responds with a simple "No.  But I'm going to start. From here on out you are HulaBuns."

So, there you go! That's how I got "HulaBuns" as a nickname.  Not the most exciting story, but that's it (or at least that's my recollection of events).

If you haven't read How my husband got an office supply nickname I would highly recommend reading it when you get the opportunity. I promise it's more entertaining than how I got my nickname! :)

*Bunning is defined as putting a hamburger or hotdog in a bun

Later gators!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Football-Watching Rules

This is the ice sculpture from our wedding reception. It's an "S" to represent Michigan State University.
This is us on our wedding day in front of "Sparty" on Michigan State's campus.

Dear Binderclips,

I have developed a set of rules for you, specifically for when you are watching football. I feel this is necessary after your behavior today (just so you know). I appreciate your love of college football, however do not appreciate the noise that comes out of you when you're watching it. Below you will find a list of rules in which I feel you absolutely, positively need to follow while you watch college football.

The only time screaming (like a girl, in your case) in celebration of a play is necessary, is the following:

  1. When the team you're rooting for gets a touchdown.
  2. When the team you're rooting for intercepts the ball.
  3. When the team you're rooting for sacks the opposing team's quarterback (however, this calls for less loud of a scream than any other rule on this list).
  4. When the team you're rooting for makes a great play (that impacts the victory of the opposing team and subsequently, results in the team you're rooting for winning).
  5. When the team you're rooting for gains a significant amount of yardage on a play (must be > 60 yards, for loudness guidelines please see #3).
  6. When the opposing team loses a significant amount of yardage on a play (must be > 50 yards, for loudness guidelines please see #3).
  7. When the team you're rooting for successfully completes a 2 point conversion.
  8. When the team you're rooting for kicks a field goal (only 3 pointers apply to this rule).
I love you dearly, however believe if you don't follow the above rules I might have to kick you, hard, in the banjangas*. ;)


*Banjangas (pronounced: ba-jane-gus) is defined as a man's "beans", if you don't know what this means I don't know what to tell you

Friday, September 10, 2010

Imma Be

Hi Everyone! TGIF folks! You know what I'm sayin? I'm soo glad it's Friday and unless you're crazy (or have to work over the weekend) you should be too!

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life. Which, I feel like must be in the air because one of my fellow bloggers recently had a post in which she was very introspective also. She is really talented, so I would recommend visiting her blog when you get a chance. (Yeah, I totally put 2 links to her blog in one sentence. So, what are you going to do about it? Huh?)

Anyways, I, myself, have been very introspective lately as well. The one thought that my mind keeps settling on is that I'm too nice. This may be a strange concept to some as I have not always been this way. In fact, in my early years I was really selfish. I remember being one of those types that used to wait for others to stop talking so I could talk about myself, not listening really to what they were saying at all along the way. I remember not valuing people and my relationships with them as much as I should have. I also remember feeling alone a lot (most likely because of my own actions and lack of real effort with others). The other thing I remember is that I wasn't happy. I had some very serious situations at home that I was dealing with that, now that I look back on them, realize that they contributed to me being emotionally non-existent/shutdown for a large portion of my youth. So, in short, if you were one of the people that experienced me this way, let me just say, I'm sorry to you. Looking back I realize how lucky I was to even have any of my friends and family around me (and putting up with me) during that time.

While I feel very different now than I did when I was younger, I still feel I have a lot of room for improvement (don't we all?). I also am extremely thankful for every experience I went through as I feel without such experiences I wouldn't have realized how much potential I had (and still have) to change for the better.

Any who, I digress....so, back to my original reason for this post: I'm too nice and feel like I get taken advantage of because of it sometimes. I've decided that I need to be a little more assertive. However, this is going to be really hard for me. In my adulthood I've developed an easygoingness that results in me doing things that sometimes I would not prefer doing just because I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I really have no issues with doing what others want to, but on rare occasion I do and, from here on out - I'm going to try to speak up about it when such an occasion arises. Or in other words, "I'mma Be" more assertive (you can imagine me dancing to that song at this point because I have a home office and I actually may be dancing).

Also, I have included a picture from Binderclips' and my wedding reception below to help you in imagining me dancing (you may be asking yourself if the picture was necessary and after you see it, I'm certain you will agree that it was). I believe I was dancing to thriller at this point, but you get the idea. Oh, and yeah I'm not going to provide any other explanation for this picture -I'll leave that up to your imagination. All I'm going to say is we have A LOT of pictures equally as entertaining as this one from our reception. Good times folks! Good times! Have a great weekend everyone.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Knock My Socks Off?

As some of you might know, Binderclips and I have major issues with communication. Now, I've never really came right out and said this before, but I feel it's necessary. What I'm trying to say is - I believe it's all his fault. There. Now it's been said and I'm sure you agree. If you don't, clearly you have issues. ;)

Anyways, a while back I was running quite a bit. After I was done running I would neatly place my socks on top of our closet door (which, opens inside of our closet). Since we always leave it open I thought it was a perfect spot to let my sweaty socks dry off after a run. I am aware that this is gross and don't care. Also, I have the kind of feet that stink when they sweat, probably TMI, but I felt like you should know.

The other thing you should know is that Binderclips and I argue about socks (specifically, my socks) often. Socks and melons, those are the two things we argue about most. When I say "argue" I mean playfully for the most part, it's on rare occasion that we get upset with each other over anything. Still, with that being said, socks and melons are both sensitive topics around these parts.

For a while, he would tell me to throw away socks, you know, that had holes in them or were so worn that all you had to do was look at them wrong and a hole would spontaneously appear. I am not a fan of this. I have a very hard time throwing stuff away. I mean, not in general, I don't hoard things or anything. I just don't like spending money and when I throw something away it means I have to spend money to replace it (read: I am not a shopper, I do not enjoy shopping). So, that's basically what we argue about. Him wanting me to throw away socks and me not wanting to because it means I have to buy replacements. The other thing, is that he doesn't like me putting my dirty, sweaty socks on top of the door in the closet because his dresser is in there. Which means he has to smell them when he goes in there. However, that doesn't mean that he can just remove them from on top of the door whenever he wants to (at least not in my eyes). My peeps got my back here, right?

So, on the this particular day we were both in the bedroom, me getting ready to go for a run. He was outside of the closet and I was heading in. Because he had removed my socks that were on top of the door before I felt the need to ask him a question:

HulaBuns:  Did you knock my socks off?

Immediately I hear him start to laugh, then I realize what I've just said. I look up to see my socks still in position on top of the door, then walk out of the closet and say "I guess not". To which, we both started laughing hysterically.

The lesson here: "Did you knock my socks off?" is on the top ten list of questions NOT to ask your husband/spouse.  Take it from me, he is most definitely not going to take it the way you mean it. LOL Can you guys help me come up with the rest of the list? I have a list of my own started ("Did you put my shoes in the microwave?" is another question on the list) and will post it soon but want to hear if you have some also.

Also, I'd like to leave you with this picture:

A little over 7 years ago I graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Exercise Science and this was one of the pictures that was taken that day. Not the best picture of me, but I really felt like it needed to be shared. Isn't that a handsome man that I'm with?

Later gators!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Casualties of the "Under" World

Soooooo, how is everyone out there in blog world? Doing well I hope. I'm doing ok. I've been super duper busy with work lately, which, has meant - by the time I get off of work I don't want to be anywhere near a computer (I work in IT). You ever have days/weeks like that? Blah.

Anyways, I have missed blogging tremendously and boy do I have a doozy to tell. Here it goes:

I had to go to the doctor's a couple of weeks ago. So, I got there early, checked in with the receptionist, then decided to meander around the waiting room (which, was empty at the time) looking at the literature they had posted.

Just as I picked up something to read the nurse called me back. I followed her back to the "surprise zone" to undergo some surprise testing. I've decided to call it the "surprise zone" because I had no idea that; 1) The test being done would be much more invasive than I had originally expected and 2) The lady who performed the surprise test also surprised me by trying to sell me jewelry at the end of it.

Any who, after making no jewelry purchases I was essentially on my way out and done with my appointment. This is where things really took a turn for the worse....

As I started to head out and back into the waiting room, I noticed the receptionist carrying some paper towel and heading out there as well. As she opened the door we both walked out. It was at this point that I noticed that everyone in the waiting room was in a fit of laughter (the waiting room was full also). Then, I heard one of the woman say "Someone was in a hurry to get a PAP smear!" followed by even more laughter.

As if in slow motion I looked down to see what everyone was looking (and laughing) at....

It was a pair of my underwear!!! Specifically, Michigan State University underwear that Binderclips had bought me some time ago. In my head I began to freak out thinking "What do I do? What DO I DO??!! Binderclips is going to KILL me!! And they are one of my favorite pairs of undies!!" By the way, when I told this story to my friend it was at this point that she responded with "Abandon the undies!!! Abandon. The. Undies!!!"

As I looked at my undies on the floor of the waiting room I had a flashback to the day prior to the appointment and that's when I realized what had happened. The day before the appointment Binderclips and I had went swimming. I had been wearing the jeans I wore to the doctor's appointment and had taken them off with my undies in them and forgot about them. When I got dressed for the appointment I had put my jeans back on and must have pushed my undies down into one of the pant legs (please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this before?).

Anyways, after some major contemplation, what do you think I decided to do? If you guessed pick them up and say something like "Ooooo, sorry about that. Let me just get those out of your way." as I picked them up - you're wrong. Sadly, I actually left them behind.

However, as I walked out of the waiting room (again, saying goodbye to my beloved MI State undies) I tried to hold my laughter in. As soon as I got into the elevator I started laughing hysterically, thank goodness I was alone.

When I got out to my car I decided to give Binderclips a call. I asked him "So, do you want the good news or the bad news first?" I shared the good news first (everything looked A-Ok according to the doctor), then broke the bad news to him. I simply said "I lost my undies, the MI state ones." After describing how it happened to him, he responded with "You know, it wouldn't be so bad if you hadn't done this before!" Then he reminded me of the time that I had the same thing happen early on in our relationship, except that time it happened in a grocery store. Someone saw me drop something (I'm not sure if they realized they had dropped out of my pant leg or just thought I had dropped them) and went to pick them up to hand to me. When they realized what they were (think embarrassing undies, unlike my MI State undies - which, were boy shorts) - they said "Ooo, ummm, never mind" then walked away embarrassed.

Now when I leave the house Binderclips tells me to "come back with the same number of undies I left with". Only me folks, only me....

So, have you done something like this before?