Saturday, September 11, 2010

Football-Watching Rules

This is the ice sculpture from our wedding reception. It's an "S" to represent Michigan State University.
This is us on our wedding day in front of "Sparty" on Michigan State's campus.

Dear Binderclips,

I have developed a set of rules for you, specifically for when you are watching football. I feel this is necessary after your behavior today (just so you know). I appreciate your love of college football, however do not appreciate the noise that comes out of you when you're watching it. Below you will find a list of rules in which I feel you absolutely, positively need to follow while you watch college football.

The only time screaming (like a girl, in your case) in celebration of a play is necessary, is the following:

  1. When the team you're rooting for gets a touchdown.
  2. When the team you're rooting for intercepts the ball.
  3. When the team you're rooting for sacks the opposing team's quarterback (however, this calls for less loud of a scream than any other rule on this list).
  4. When the team you're rooting for makes a great play (that impacts the victory of the opposing team and subsequently, results in the team you're rooting for winning).
  5. When the team you're rooting for gains a significant amount of yardage on a play (must be > 60 yards, for loudness guidelines please see #3).
  6. When the opposing team loses a significant amount of yardage on a play (must be > 50 yards, for loudness guidelines please see #3).
  7. When the team you're rooting for successfully completes a 2 point conversion.
  8. When the team you're rooting for kicks a field goal (only 3 pointers apply to this rule).
I love you dearly, however believe if you don't follow the above rules I might have to kick you, hard, in the banjangas*. ;)


*Banjangas (pronounced: ba-jane-gus) is defined as a man's "beans", if you don't know what this means I don't know what to tell you


  1. Good thing you set down these rules. Please let us know if he follows them! Great pictures!

  2. Uh...what's left for him to scream about? I don't understand what the heck he was doing before, but if this is your list of times when it's OK to scream, then I am going to guess that he is just constantly making some sort of noise.

    I knew he was a Michigan fan, but I didn't know to what extent. You must really love him! :)

  3. BB: For sure, I will definitely let you know! :)

    TB: You hit the nail on the head - he IS constantly making noise, almost with every play. In other words, it's very loud around these parts during college football and it is really distracting. LOL

    Also, Michigan refers to University of MI (at least to us Michiganders, which is MI State's rival), who we are not as interested in winning. :D

  4. I disagree with the field goal rule and the yardage gain rule. Personally I scream like a girl for anything over thirty yards.

  5. I'm with Roman. I would say any 1st down play is an exceptable screaming point, as is any loss of yards for the opposing team. Also, you are allowed to yell when ANYTHING goes badly for your team, or when anything positive happens to the opposing team. Actually, screw these rules! You should be yelling the whole time. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! LOUD NOISES!!!!

  6. Ahhhhh, what a gorgeous couple you make (grin)! Does your hubby dec the room out in his team regalia, and wear the full kit to watch them play? Mine does (sighhh)..

  7. Oops! I had no idea. I am not well-versed in college football, as you can tell. How embarrassing. :\

  8. TB: That's ok! I get confused when it's other states (like Iowa and Iowa State) and end up doing the same thing.

    Shrinky: Thank you! Oh, believe me, he tries. In fact for the longest time we had a poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger hanging up in our bedroom. LOL I finally won that battle though!

    Steve and Keith: I feel I was overly generous with the rules and refuse to budge on any of them. So there! ;)

  9. What I don't get with 'Merican football is the hyper playing with the band. The Mizzou fight song is 'Its a long way to Tipperary'. But you would never know it.
    And what's with the half naked teens doing things on the sideline that would have Moulin Rouge dancers going, 'Mais NON', and their name says it. It always seemed a bit of a contradiction, Bristol an' all that.

  10. Vince: I had no idea that the Mizzou fight song is 'it's a long way to Tipperary' - maybe they mean it in the literal sense, perhaps? Who knows!

    As for your last comment about the half naked teens, I have 2 things to say about that: 1) I don't know but I'm subjected to watching it also and 2) I had to google 'mais non' and I think you mean "but no" but I really have no idea. LOL

    Thanks for visiting! I look forward to following your blog regularly.

  11. Hope he follows the rules, love the wedding picture...cute.

    Ist time here and loving your blog.
    take care

  12. Yeah, I didn't realise you were Kansas. You lot have your issues don't you.

  13. Lara: Thanks for stopping by and for the compliment! For his sake, I hope he does too. I hope to see you around these parts again. :)

    Vince: Glad you clarified that the issues are with Mizzou. :D However, as you can see from my blog "you lot have your issues don't you" could just apply to me and Binderclips. Thanks for stopping by again!