Thursday, October 9, 2014

Eye Patches R' Us

Since I have a patch on my eye currently I figured I'd repost one of my favorite posts from 2010. Oh, why the eye patch you ask? My 3 year old, let's just call her "Dagger Hands", tried to claw my eye out. Ok, ok....that's not true. She accidentally poked me in the eye the other day. At first I thought she had just scratched my eye, but no. She actually cut a small piece of the white of my eye off...but not completely off, so there it dangles (being flip-flopped around each time I blink). Sound painful? It is. Any who, I hope you enjoy the repost below!

Originally posted 10/28/10

Hello out there in blog world! So, what's going on with you guys? It seems like I'm forgetting something....oh that's right! I almost forgot that Halloween is just around the corner. Geesh! Thank goodness I have an idea for coming up with a costume in a pinch. You must hear about it! 

First, a reminder that, I can be pretty... but, only when I want to be (well, when I'm having a good hair day - naturally curly hair makes for lots of bad hair days, by pure luck my hair looks ok today). Ok, so I was saying...

Mmmmmm, look a chocolate muffin!

What's this? Oh a chocolate chip*! Hey, I have an idea...

...if I put it on my tooth like so, maybe it will look like....
...I have a missing tooth.** HA! Success! And I'm soo scary that Turner can't bare to look at me anymore. Hmmmm, what else could I add to this to make it a full costume?

How about a scarf from the closet, an eye patch (doesn't everyone have an extra eyepatch laying around??), and a hook made out of foil?? Now all I need is pirate talk!
Only a nancy-pants can be keelhaulin' on the treasure chest.
 I shall hornswaggle that reef monkey with my anchor. By the foul bowels of Davy Jones! Arrrrrrggggghhhh!***

 In addition, all I have to do is put on the a white button up shirt (I'm thinking tuxedo style) and some tight, black capri pants, funky tights, well and some jewelry and WALA!! Now, if you find yourself in a pinch you can come up with a costume and everyone loves pirate costumes (and if they don't, they should)!! (Plus, you have an excuse to talk like a pirate the entire night!)

Happy Halloweening everyone!!

Some Halloween Facts:
-Ancient Celts thought that ghosts/spirits wandered the streets on Hallows Eve, because they didn't want to get recognized as human by them, they would wear masks/costumes.
-Halloween is the second most commercially successful holiday, Christmas is the first.

*Any dark foods can be used, i.e. fudge, chocolate cake, etc. They also sell black wax just for this purpose, however I find that food is much more fun - and tasty!

**For Binderclips' sake I feel it should be noted that he hates this post, specifically the pictures of me with the chocolate chip on my tooth. He told me "you're pretty and I don't like seeing pictures of you like that" - which, is actually kind of sweet. That's why I posted a picture of me beforehand - for his sake, just an FYI.

***The pirate quotes above are randomly generated from this site, which I linked to in another post referring to gangsta talk. Check it out!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

8 Legged Runner

One of my recent works of art...what do you think? I call it "I want to use all these colors in my living room, so I put them all in one painting" or "Not good to see on your EKG". :)
Hello folks!! Looking good! (I'm guessing you look good, I can't actually see you...but because you're a good looking bunch, I'm sure I'm right.)

Not much happening here, except the usual dysfunctional stuff. Since were on the topic of dysfunctional-ness I might as well share what happened last night with you.

1. I decide to go to bed and go into our bathroom (in the back portion of our house) to brush my teeth and wash my face. G is sleeping in her room and as usual, Baby A is sleeping on the couch (she falls asleep there every night next to me and I move her to her crib after I get ready for bed). Binderclips stays in the living room to make sure my danger baby (Baby A) doesn't do anything dangerous (even in her sleep she's dangerous).

2. While in the bathroom I notice a black spider hanging out (literally) on the wall. I immediately start to freak out but decide against screaming as I didn't want to wake the kids up (believe me, this was a very difficult feat).

3. I decide to hurry up (as fast as I freaking can) and do what I need to do then go get Binderclips to "take care" of the spider.

4. At this point, I turn back around to make sure the spider is where I left him (on the wall). NOPE. "Where is he??!! WHERE IS HE!!??" I think frantically as I scan the room.

5. I finally spot him running at me (Do spiders run? YES, THEY FREAKING DO!).

6. He makes a run for it under a squeegee we have sitting on the ground. I take this as my opportunity to "take care" of him. I start pressing on it but he tries to escape!!! I finally succeed but only after spastically moving about the room. I should note, not once did I scream during the entire ordeal.

7. I go out into the living room where Binderclips is and tell him I have to talk to him about "something important". He, pats the seat next to him (creepily) to tell me to sit next to him.

8. I ignore the creepiness and proceed to explain to him what happened with hand motions (think hand inside of a pretend puppet and explosion-type movements). He listens, looking at me as if I'm an alien (I ignore his looks and proceed in my explanation). I explain to him that "I was attacked....the spider was black with a red hue...he came running at me... I had to use the squeegee as a weapon..." and tell him I need his help "getting rid of it".

9. After I finish my very animated *handamation, he looks at me and says "Is that what you were doing back there?" very calmly.

10. I think "clearly, there is something wrong with him! How can one be soo calm about something soo scary!" I start looking at him like he's an alien.

11. I say "oh, you could hear me?" to which he responds with "Ummm, yes. You were making quite  a bit of noise banging stuff around."

12. "And you didn't think to come SAVE me??!!" I think but instead say, "I didn't scream but I wanted to, you should be proud of me." I proceed to have (what I think is) a deep conversation about how if a spider attacks me, it's game on. He continues to sit there calmly.

What did I learn in this situation? If a spider comes running at me, I will attack and Binderclips clearly is waaay to used to me. I'm thinking I need to start hiding in cupboards again to scare him.

Later gators!

Handamation = hand motions emphasizing what I'm talking about

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Sleepy Creepy Talker


Baby A

Some pictures of my girls for your viewing pleasure. :)
I'm back! I hope everyone is doing well out there in blog world. It's gotten kind of hard for me to post with work and 2 kids, however I feel like this is something I must share with you all.

Let me set the scene:
This past weekend Binderclips and I went to visit my Dad, my brother and his wife in Indiana. It was our first time visiting my Dad at his new place, so we decided to rent a room at the only hotel within walking distance to my Dad's place. The place was established in 1865.

When I made the reservations I decided to go with a room with 2 full beds as I thought Baby G would end up sleeping with Binderclips and Baby A with me. Baby G is almost 3 (so definitely not a baby anymore, more like a very independent toddler who can do everything on her own according to her, I'll just call her "G" from here on out) and Baby A is almost 11 months (I call her my danger baby, because she always finds her way to the most dangerous items for a baby in any room she's in).

Anyways, while I expected that to be how the sleeping arrangements would go, it did not go that way at all. What happened you ask? G insisted on sleeping with Baby A and I. Because Baby A likes to pull G's hair I couldn't let Baby A sleep in the middle. Therefore, I slept sandwiched in between them. And by "slept" I mean didn't sleep at all. The entire night I tried to hold on to both of them so that neither of them fell out of bed. On top of that, it occurred to me (only after everyone but me had fallen asleep) that the hotel we were staying in was very old and, for some reason, this creeped me out. I laid there (again, sandwiched between my 2 cuties, holding on to them for dear life) looking around hoping not to see anything scary. Eventually I drifted off to sleep thinking 'this place isn't haunted, I'm just being a scardy cat'.

The next morning we went down to eat the free continental breakfast that came with the room. In doing so, we met an interesting character that shared with us that the place was, in fact, haunted.

Fast forward to the second night. I had us moved to a king room since I figured that all of us in one big bed would be less stressful for me and I might actually get some sleep.

Binderclips slept on one side with G next to him, I was next to G and on the other side of me was Baby A (Binderclips, G, me, then Baby A). Immediately everyone falls asleep but me again. However, this time I looked around for ghosts and got increasingly more scared. I eventually woke Binderclips up, had him put his hand on my back (What am I a baby? Yes. Especially when it comes to potential ghost encounters.) and could fall asleep. Hey, he signed up for this kind of crazy [pointing at myself], so he has no one else to blame but himself for having to put up with my weirdness (which, if you ask me, is solely due to his weirdness).

To my dismay, about 3 hours later, I was woken up by Binderclips because I was "creepy mumbling". I remember having a dream and very clearly saying "Why?" in it, however apparently because my lips were asleep it just came out as a creepy mumble (I should note I do recall saying "why?" repeatedly in the dream).

He woke me up saying "you're ok". But instead of it having a reassuring tone to it, it was more like he was asking a question (as if to communicate that he wasn't really sure if I was, in fact, ok).

At that point, neither of us could get back to sleep, although for different reasons. I obviously was scared and he was uncomfortable. I looked over at Binderclips to see him balancing his 6 ft frame on 1.5 ft of bed and thought 'that's not enough room for him, no wonder he can't sleep'.

I looked over at where Baby A was sleeping. I had put some pillows beside her on the edge of the bed taking up approximately 2 ft (or more) of the bed. At that point I had an epiphany "Binderclips should lay on the other side of Baby A!" I thought. I told him "Why don't you lay over by Baby A?", to which he got up and walked over to her side of the bed.

From the look on his face I could tell he had enough of not being able to sleep. He looked down at the pillows, then looked up at me with a glare. I thought "What a great idea, now he can get some sleep!" I must have looked pretty proud of myself because then he said "You had all this space over here the entire time?!!? I thought we were taking up the entire bed! Now I see that you are sleeping directly in the middle!"

I look down at myself and realize, I am sleeping directly in the middle (hey, I didn't want Baby A to fall off, ok?). I shrug it off and go to sleep and so does he, because, let's face it, we were both exhausted. The next morning we recap the night with each other both laughing hysterically. In fact, as I type this I am laughing.

In short - Is there something wrong with me? Yes, his name starts with "Binder" and ends with "clips". That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Later gators!

Monday, July 7, 2014

Don't Judge Me

(originally posted 4/25/2013)

Today is not one of my better days, let me just start with that.

Like any other morning I got up and got dressed (sounds normal so far right?). Things were as usual until I was in the middle of a call for work.

As I sat on the call I noticed something moving near my foot out of the corner if my eye. I looked down to see a gigantic (and I mean HUGE) centipede crawling around. Immediately I screamed as if I was being kidnapped or something. At that point I remembered I was on a call for work. My first thought was 'thank goodness I was on mute!' My second thought was 'great! Now I have to present my teams' information' (which is on my computer in the area where I encountered the centipede, the area in which I can't bare to be in).

At that moment they call me to present our information...I grab the laptop and like a madwoman rip the cord out of the wall. I'm out of breath because I'm so stressed from the encounter with the bug. Standing, with my laptop in my hands, I give our status knowing that I sound as if I just ran a marathon.

I decide to go sit down at the kitchen table to calm myself down, then see this post it note that I wrote out earlier today:

In case you can't read my chicken scratch it says "I put my bra on inside out today and didn't notice for a couple if hours."

I'm not sure what's worse; the fact that I wrote myself a note like this (I wrote it to remind myself that I did it because I wanted to remember to tell Binderclips, and lets face it - I'm VERY forgetful lately) or the fact that I actually did it?

OR that I forgot to fix it and, therefore, am still wearing my bra inside out? (Oh come on! It's a sports bra type thing in my defense.)

Any who, I thought you all needed to know about all of this (as embarrassing as it is). Don't judge - you know you're not perfect either and surely you've put something on inside out at some point?

Alrighty, that's it from me. Later gators!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Look Into My Eye

There's nothing like a creepy eye picture to end your Friday! This has NOTHING to do with this post btw.

At first, it may seem as though this post has something to do with Target, it doesn't. I just thought that if you got your hopes up I would be sure to tear them down immediately.

We recently moved to Birmingham, MI. Today I went to one of my favorite places to get a smoothie for lunch - Beyond Juice. The place was hoppin' with people. What I noticed is that there were basically 3 different classifications of people:

1) Those who looked perfectly groomed, not a hair out of place with impeccable clothing and accessories to match.
2) Those who looked like they didn't care what others thought but had expensive clothing and accessories to match on.
3) Those who looked disheveled who didn't seem to care what others thought. These people also had no-name brand clothing on (which could also be expensive).

Which one do you think I fit into? 1? Nope. Most of the time my hair goes one way and I go the other. I don't think I can think of one day where this hasn't happened in my life. 2? Wrong again. I'm just going to say this and I hope I don't offend anyone with it. I don't even get the whole women and shoes and/or purses thing. I am soo not into it. For the longest time I had a Nike purse that I used. I finally gave it up when I was faced with an purse intervention at work. Since then my wonderfully, beautiful, fashion-forward sister-in-law bought me a purse that is awesome and that's all I have, the 1 purse. I am not into fashion (or fashionable, if you ask my brother) and I'm perfectly fine with that. I am also perfectly fine with others being the opposite, I just am not that way.

I usually don't notice what others have on, in fact I have no idea what is even good. I just know that Louis Vuitton is supposed to be pretty popular and I saw that name on several of the 1 and 2 folks' bags today. It got me to thinking, of the 3 groups of people who I seek out (knowingly or not knowingly) as friends. Hands down, I believe the answer is the 3rd group. So, here is a letter to my friends to let you know how I feel about you:

Dear Friends of Hulabuns,

You know those people with every hair in place? The people who look like they just walked out of a catalog? If you're friends with me, chances are, you are not one of those people.

Yes, I know, I hate to break it to you but I'm pretty sure at some point you have had a hair out of place...and, I love you for it. You are the perfectly imperfect friends that make me feel normal for my imperfections. I appreciate that you don't notice the spit up on my shirt or jeans or the salt stains on the bottom of my jeans. Or if you do, you accept that I am a work in progress (sometimes at it's worst point in production).

If I was one of those people who never had a hair out of place I would be exhausted. Looking as messy as I do is even exhausting on it's own.

I'm happy with being in the 3rd group above as I think I belong there. I am not one who wears fancy clothes or even buys expensive things. I believe living humbly best suits me, it gives me more time to value the people in my life and experiences I have more than I value possessions.

Thanks for being in my life and accepting me for who I am.


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My Mind - Unrestricted Access

Tight Pants Pic from Jimmy Fallon Show for your viewing pleasure
I was just taking a break from the kids, in other words, taking a shower. While in there I had, oh I don't know, maybe 20 full minutes to myself. As I was standing there soo many things were going through my head that I felt like I needed to document it somewhere.

Just a warning: This may be hard to keep up with, therefore I have included a  Change of Topic (COT) notification when they occur.

Anyways here we go:

Yay! Me time! Too bad at the end of it I will have handfuls of hair to say goodbye to*. Maybe I should wear a wig? I could literally have a different wig for every day of the week! Might be confusing to the kids tho...


Man, Bruno Mars' hair was high during the half-time show.
I wonder if he hid snacks up in it? I'm pretty sure he could have hid some up there if he wanted to.
I wonder how much taller his hair made him? It looked like it was at least 6 inches high.
I bet guys and gals who are short were thinking "good idea, I could gain an easy 6 inches off of a hairdo like that."


Singing "Everybody's talkin' bout my tight pants, I got my tight pants, I got my tight pants on"


Will Ferrell's hair in the tight pants skit with Jimmy Fallon was really funny. It looked like that teacher's hair that I took Child Development (or something along those lines) from in high school...what was her name again? I believe she taught Child Development but didn't have any kids...


Singing "Everybody's talkin' bout my tight pants, I got my tight pants, I got my tight pants on"


I am soo not interested in wearing tight pants. I guess the pair I have been wearing lately are kind of tight but are they really tight pants? What makes a pant be classified as tight? Probably just that they are, in fact, tight...


I'm hungry ... Singing "I like chicken...."


Continue to sing "...I like liver, meow mix meow mix please deliver"


The new black hole is the unblack hole?  Or would it be more like an tunnel based on Hawking's new theory? Black tunnel? But it converts stuff into other unrecognizable stuff... Unblack converter tunnel?


Singing "Everybody's talkin' bout my tight pants, I got my tight pants, I got my tight pants on"

And that's all that I could remember that went through my head! Well, now 1 of 3 things has happened:
1) The tight pants song is in your head
2) The meow mix song is in your head
3) Both songs are in your head

Hope you have a great day!

*Do you know that when you (I'm talking to the ladies on this one) have a baby (or at least when I have just recently had a baby) your hair falls out in droves? Oh yeah, it literally cannot get off of your head fast's like your head is the plague and it's trying to avoid it.

Friday, January 31, 2014

A Letter to a Person Who Recently Unfriended Me on Facebook (PWRUMF)


I hope all is well! I wouldn't know because, well, you unfriended me and I can't see if you are ok or what is going on with you.

Two days ago you shared a news posting that was talking about the Disney Channel and how they recently had a lesbian couple on one of their shows. Your comment was that you won't be watching that show anymore or something along those lines. It seemed like it resulted in a firestorm of comments with people disagreeing and agreeing with you. I wouldn't have even noticed the post if one of our mutual friends hadn't pointed it out. This individual didn't comment on your post and neither did I, and just so you know - the individual is gay. The person who pointed it out was saddened by the post, which makes me sad because I care about that person. 

Soon after I read the post you unfriended me. I only know this because the same person who told me about it asked me if I could see the post later in the day as they thought you had deleted it. When I went to check if it was still there, we were no longer friends.

That being said, I think it's important to understand that people have different beliefs (religious or otherwise) which, in some cases, dictate what people do in their every day lives. Sometimes (in fact many times) I don't understand this especially when it results in excluding certain groups of people based on various different reasons (sexual orientation for example). Let's just say "I don't get it" and leave it at that.

Either way you lean on this issue - I respect your beliefs. I may not agree with them but I do respect them.

So, you may ask yourself, why am I posting this if the person will never see this? (Let's be honest, even if I post it on Facebook, not many people will read it.) I'm posting it to say thank you to this PWRUMF. I'm thanking you because you made me come to terms with what I already knew but I guess didn't want to admit to myself; we aren't really friends and never really were to begin with (acquaintances - yes, friends - no).

It stung my ego a little for you to unfriend me, but after coming to this realization I realize I'm not going to miss your posts (even though they were few and far in between). I always hope you are doing well but I've never thought "I wonder how ____ is doing?" about you, which leads me to believe it was the right choice for both of us.

My hopes are that you unfriended me for this reason and not because I have different beliefs than you do. If that's the reason you unfriended me than I can say without hesitation, I think it's the wrong decision; one that only someone with a closed mind would make.


P.S. Maybe we'll see each other at a class reunion someday - that'll be fun, right? And not in any way awkward. :)

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Making Decisions: A New Approach

Yes, I did just actually do this...
I was going to make smoked salmon quiche, however I made it on Monday night and have been eating it all week. While it was good - I'm sick of it. 

It did help me make a decision but now I have to fill out another one. Wish me luck!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Snaz Fisheries aka My Battle with a Dangerous Predatory Animal

Saw these guys at the Kansas City Zoo a few years ago. Glad I saw them there and not out in the wild as described below.

Hello Everyone! We've had a lot going on the past couple of months (I mean A LOT)...had a baby, bought a house, that kind of stuff. I'm not going to bore you with those details. Instead, today I was reminded of this post by reading a Popular Science article today about an African fish that can catch and eat flying birds. I had to post this blog again because as soon as I saw this article it was all I could think about. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

I originally posted this back in April of 2010, but thought I'd post it again, since it's one of my favorite Hulabuns nightmare stories and I'm pretty sure most of you haven't read it.

This one goes back a couple of years. One night Binderclips and I were in bed sleeping. I was sleeping with my head on his shoulder (this was before we realized what happens to me when I get hot while sleeping, more on that later). So, he was on his back and I was all snuggled up on my side laying towards him with my head on his shoulder, near his ear.

Anyways, I was having a dream that basically consisted of me watching a documentary on predatory animals. It started with the black bear and how it "cautiously sneaks up on elk and moose" (said in a documentary type voice - think Alec Baldwin-ish (but not the yelling at his daughter Alec, more like 30 Rock Alec)). It went on to describe how "the black bear only hunts salmon at night as it's dark fur is easily seen during the day". I found this to be gripping and could not stop watching such a fascinating documentary.

Next came the Snaz fish, in which "sneaks up on it's prey, then, without warning, eats the prey whole in one gulp!" 'HOLY SHIT!' I thought, 'it looks like such a harmless fish'. I was obviously not expecting it to eat the nice little fishy it was following (think Finding Nemo with Dory following around Marlin type deal) whole - in an instant. 'And I thought they were friends!' I thought, devastated.

Then, all of a sudden, I was dropped into the water to compete with the Snaz fish. "Swim quick and keep chomping" said the documentary type voice "you must catch the prey before the Snaz fish does." So, what did I do? I FREAKING STARTING SWIMMING AND CHOMPING SCARED FOR MY LIFE!! I was chomping and swimming and swimming and chomping and just could not catch the darn prey AND THE SNAZ FISH WAS QUICKLY APPROACHING!! I just tried to swim faster and chomp harder!!

Next thing I know I'm looking at Binderclips who's looking at me with a terrified look on his face.

I'm awake. 'Crap, guess I lost that competition' I think. "What are you doing??!!" he says (in a terrified voice). I respond with "Oh, I was just having some dream about a documentary in which I was in a competition with the Snaz fish. I had to eat the prey before it did, you know that kind of stuff" (thinking he must have just woken up from a terrifying nightmare himself). I follow it up with "Are you ok? Must have been some nightmare you were having, you look terrified". Still looking terrified he says "NO, I'M NOT OK! I thought you were going to bite me!!"

"Bite you! Why would I do that?" I say. "Because you were squirming all around and chomping at my ear!" he says. To which I respond to with a burst of laughter. I flash back to my dream and do recall doing both of those things, however did not think I was really doing them or was I?

I finally get him to believe that I was not actually trying to bite him (it was harder than you might think as we had an incident before this in which he was teasing me with a piece of chocolate and I MAY have bit him, accidentally, of course).

To this day he does not let me live down the Snaz fish incident. In fact, on occasion I find that he's named things 'Snaz Fisheries' (he made something on my computer this name, I forget what it was exactly). We still have discussions on how I came up with "Snaz fish" as the type of fish, which I honestly have no clue why that was it's name. :)

Have a great day folks! Later gators!

Originally posted 4/7/2010