Wednesday, September 3, 2014

8 Legged Runner

One of my recent works of art...what do you think? I call it "I want to use all these colors in my living room, so I put them all in one painting" or "Not good to see on your EKG". :)
Hello folks!! Looking good! (I'm guessing you look good, I can't actually see you...but because you're a good looking bunch, I'm sure I'm right.)

Not much happening here, except the usual dysfunctional stuff. Since were on the topic of dysfunctional-ness I might as well share what happened last night with you.

1. I decide to go to bed and go into our bathroom (in the back portion of our house) to brush my teeth and wash my face. G is sleeping in her room and as usual, Baby A is sleeping on the couch (she falls asleep there every night next to me and I move her to her crib after I get ready for bed). Binderclips stays in the living room to make sure my danger baby (Baby A) doesn't do anything dangerous (even in her sleep she's dangerous).

2. While in the bathroom I notice a black spider hanging out (literally) on the wall. I immediately start to freak out but decide against screaming as I didn't want to wake the kids up (believe me, this was a very difficult feat).

3. I decide to hurry up (as fast as I freaking can) and do what I need to do then go get Binderclips to "take care" of the spider.

4. At this point, I turn back around to make sure the spider is where I left him (on the wall). NOPE. "Where is he??!! WHERE IS HE!!??" I think frantically as I scan the room.

5. I finally spot him running at me (Do spiders run? YES, THEY FREAKING DO!).

6. He makes a run for it under a squeegee we have sitting on the ground. I take this as my opportunity to "take care" of him. I start pressing on it but he tries to escape!!! I finally succeed but only after spastically moving about the room. I should note, not once did I scream during the entire ordeal.

7. I go out into the living room where Binderclips is and tell him I have to talk to him about "something important". He, pats the seat next to him (creepily) to tell me to sit next to him.

8. I ignore the creepiness and proceed to explain to him what happened with hand motions (think hand inside of a pretend puppet and explosion-type movements). He listens, looking at me as if I'm an alien (I ignore his looks and proceed in my explanation). I explain to him that "I was attacked....the spider was black with a red hue...he came running at me... I had to use the squeegee as a weapon..." and tell him I need his help "getting rid of it".

9. After I finish my very animated *handamation, he looks at me and says "Is that what you were doing back there?" very calmly.

10. I think "clearly, there is something wrong with him! How can one be soo calm about something soo scary!" I start looking at him like he's an alien.

11. I say "oh, you could hear me?" to which he responds with "Ummm, yes. You were making quite  a bit of noise banging stuff around."

12. "And you didn't think to come SAVE me??!!" I think but instead say, "I didn't scream but I wanted to, you should be proud of me." I proceed to have (what I think is) a deep conversation about how if a spider attacks me, it's game on. He continues to sit there calmly.

What did I learn in this situation? If a spider comes running at me, I will attack and Binderclips clearly is waaay to used to me. I'm thinking I need to start hiding in cupboards again to scare him.

Later gators!

Handamation = hand motions emphasizing what I'm talking about


  1. Are you still in Wisconsin or did you move again.
    Anywhoo's I doubt anyone is OK exactly with spiders that look as if they build web for birds and lasso cars for fun.
    Still there's something rather sexy when a chick girds her loins and goes to war.

    1. In MI now :)

      Well, if you saw me in said war you might think otherwise. Lol