Friday, June 18, 2010

Father's Day Mixup

Earlier this week Binderclips and I sent out some books as gifts to both of our fathers for Father's Day. I wrapped the books and we took them to FedEx to be shipped off. Well, I should tell you that we got a book for Binderclips' Dad that was a Gardening book and the book for my Dad that was a Beginner's Guide to Drawing and Painting (it was the larger of the 2 books). Binderclips' Dad likes to garden and my Dad likes to draw and paint - so we thought they were fitting gifts.

Anyways, after wrapping the books I put the appropriate cards on top of them and we headed to FedEx. I filled out the shipping information while Binderclips switched the books around because he "knew the larger book went to his Dad" (a detail I would learn later). Somehow I missed this detail completely and off the books went.

So, when I called my Dad to see if he liked his book I was surprised to hear him say that he "loved his gardening book" - and to make matters worse, he doesn't even have a garden!! 'What on Earth!?' I thought, I really thought I had the right card with the right book. After I explained to him that he received the wrong book, he didn't care. He had became very fond of the gardening book, which, wasn't that surprising since he had a huge garden on a farm we had in Northern MI at one point. I told him that I was glad he liked it and decided it was best for him to keep it.

However, after I got off the phone with my Dad I called Binderclips at work immediately to tell him of the mix up, which, I was still baffled by. We talked through our actions the day we sent the packages out and that's when Binderclips said "I just knew the larger book was supposed to go to my Dad".  "Ummmmm, big fat No on that one" I said then explained to him that the larger book was my Dad's book.

So, his Dad got a drawing and painting book and doesn't even like to draw or paint (as far as I know anyways). Although, he's thinking about if he wants to keep it anyways. Thank goodness we sent them mugs with a picture of Turner and Callie on them also and they both seemed to like them.

I'd like to present you with a couple of lessons learned from this experience:

Lesson to me: Double check EVERYTHING Binderclips touches. What he "knows" to be true and what is actually true are usually 2 different things entirely.

Lesson to Binderclips: DO NOT double check ANYTHING HulaBuns touches unless you want to fight her (and lose because she is so ninja-riffic*).

Any who, Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there! I hope you get your gift and not someone else's!

*Ninja-riffic - means a terrific ninja

Monday, June 14, 2010

Tires that Have to be Run Flat!!??

Let me preface this with, if you don't like rap music, you may not think you will be a fan of this post AT FIRST, until you "get all up in it's grill" (or in other words, read it). However, that being said, I have to tell you that (and this might come as a huge shocker) - I love to laugh. Yeah it's true, I do, I know it's hard to believe.... and most of the rap songs I like make me laugh A LOT. Especially, if they result in confusing conversations between Binderclips and myself, like this one does.

While writing this post I found the song online and listened to it continuously and laughed the entire time. Here are some of my favorite lyrics from it (the larger text in red, green and blue is what you will want to pay attention to):

1)Have you ever seen the crocodile seats in the truck ?
Turn around and sit it down and let em' bite ya butt

See, the steering wheel is Fendi, dashboard Armani,
With Your baby momma playa is where u can find me
Pushing through the parking lot on 24's Cadillac Escalade with the chromed out nose
With the navigation arrow headed straight to your spot
Where your wife really love me cause the sex is so hot

2) Put the Caddy up, Start the 3 wheel Benz
Hyper white lights, ultra violet lens
Sumitomo tires and they gotta be run flat

3) T.V. where the horn go, boy can you top that ?
I'ma show you some shit rookie press that button
The trunk went Eh-eh and all of a sudden
4 15's didn't see no wire's, and then I heard boom from the amplifiers

1) My question is: How can you not find this funny? Seriously, it's some cleaver stuff. While I totally disagree with animals being harmed in any way, I am a big fan of the crocodile seats biting gangsta (or any one else's who dare skin them) butts.

2) This is the part that resulted in SEVERAL very confusing conversations between Binderslips and myself. I'll get more into it in a minute, but think about it: Tires that have to be "run flat", it's confusing, right?

3) I'm a big fan of any horn that says "boy can you top that?" and I think you should be too.

Some of the other lyrics I totally ignore every time I hear the song, so just keep that in mind and try to do the same where you find them offensive. 

Anyways, moving right along....

Every time we were in the car and I heard this song - the following conversation between Binderclips and I would ensue:

HulaBuns: Why would you EVER want to have tires that were run flat? I just don't get it.

Binderclips: "Oh, we're doing this again are we" he would say giving me the stink eye.

HulaBuns: "Not sure what that means" I would say giving him the stink eye back, then continue with "do you think it means that they drive around so much that they eventually are run flat? Or that they have to drive around so much that they are run flat?" Then I would start to sing it to try to figure it out "...and they gotta be run flat" I would sing in full out gangsta mode.

Binderclips: I'm pretty sure we've gone over this already...

HulaBuns: I would ignore him completely and say "maybe they're just confused and meant to say "and they gotta be run on Sat" like Saturday?" 

Binderclips: "Really?! Do I really have to tell you AGAIN why it makes perfect sense?" he would say as he looked at me (still in gangsta mode doing a gangsta head bob and throwing up peace signs).

HulaBuns: I continue to sing "....Sumo Toomo tires and they gotta be run flat" in my own gangsta world. I would follow it up with "Do you think Sumo Toomo is a famous sumo wrestler or something that has his own brand of tires?" then I would imagine Binderclips and I in those sumo wrestling costumes sumo-wrestling it up. He would look a lot like this:

And I would look a lot like this:

Binderclips: Sumitomo is the brand and Run Flat are the type of tires. They are saying they have to be that brand and type and YOU KNOW THIS because I HAVE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES!

HulaBuns: I would laugh and not respond and by that time the song usually would end.

What I will tell you is that, he's right, I really did know what they were (but only after he explained it to me, I genuinely was confused the first few times I heard the song), it was just soo fun to irritate Binderclips with acting like I was confused. Hehehehehe :)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Breakin It

Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I've had some things going on that have kept me away from blogging regularly. I don't want to share too much but will say that I'll be Breakin It* for a couple of days, however will be back to blogging on a regular basis soon.

*Breakin It = defined as taking a break or translated as "I will break it" if Binderclips says it ;)

 If you have some extra time on your hands you may want to check out some of my favorite posts in the meantime:

The Armpit Incident

How my Husband got an Office Supply Nickname

The Snaz Fish

Do you know your Mailman?


Monday, June 7, 2010

She's Got a Leak

This is a story that goes waaaay back. When my brother and I were little we were, well for lack of a better term, LOUD. He had perfected noise making and I had perfected yelling at him to stop making noises. He liked to play with cars and make LOTS and LOTS of car noises as well as gun and bomb noises. This is usually how it went down:

My Bro: Vrrrrrrrrrroooooooomm, bang, bang bang. Scrrrrreeeeech, pow, pow, pow....

HulaBuns: STOP IT!! Do you HAVE to be soooo LOUD??!!

My Bro: drops a bomb on me then makes exploding noises

HulaBuns: OMG, MOM he's TORTURING ME! Please make him STOP!

My Mom: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, both of you!

This is where my brother and I could always meet in the middle and drive my Mom insane. If there was one thing we agreed on it was that when Mom made the "Shhhhhhhhh" noise it was OUR turn to terrorize HER.

My Bro: Uh oh, I've heard that sound before....

HulaBuns: Yep, me too. THIS IS NOT GOOD!

My Bro: Mom listen to me VERY carefully. You have an air leak somewhere and we need to find it.

HulaBuns: "Try doing this" I would say as I put a finger over my left nostril. "It sounds as though it's coming from around that area" I would say making a swirly motion around her face with my finger.

My Bro: Everyone just stay calm. Although I think I still hear something....

HulaBuns: "Me too. Mom, we've got a very serious situation here. Try doing this" I say with my right index finger over my right nostril and my left index finger over my left nostril.

We never seemed to convince her to do anything we suggested, however eventually made the suggestion to cover her ears with both of her hands. She actually would do this and I think it was because it blocked the noise coming from us out (ever so slightly) and usually helped our cause.

How bout you? Did you have any crazy antics that drove either your siblings or parents crazy? This was (by far) one of my favorites from my childhood.

As a follow up to this I plan to discuss Run Flat tires and a very confusing conversation Binderclips and I had about them. Look for that post coming soon! :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Preparation P

This evening I was talking to one of my BFFs on the phone, who, I have given the nickname 'Monkey Pirate' or 'MP' for short for this post. I MAY also call her 'Monkey' on a normal basis. In fact, it all started when I left her a voice mail one day 2-3 years ago saying "Hey Monkey, how you be? Call me" or something along those lines. She returned my call and since I was unable to answer left me a voice mail stating "I am not a monkey. I'm a homosapien. If you would like to talk to a homosapien, give me a call back." Even though she left the voice mail a couple years ago I save it religiously when prompted and will NEVER erase it.

Anyways, MP is originally from Mumbai (aka Bombay), India - however, currently lives in Los Angeles, CA. Lately, she has been preparing for her parents to visit her in the US for the first time ever this year (she's been here since 2003), they are visiting in July (I have given her preparation for their visit the name "Preparation P", just FYI).

So, we planned a trip for me to go to Los Angeles and meet her parents in August (we both figured it was about time they meet the "crazy American girl" who sneakily weaseled her way into their daughter's life just 7 years ago).

While talking to MP about her parents' visit I asked if they were excited to visit the US and if they "were prepared for some of this?" (picture me pointing at me while saying it). Her response was "my Mom will be excited to cook for you and my Dad will be wondering if you can touch your toes?"

"Tell your Mom that I'm excited to eat her yummy Indian food and tell your Dad....wait, touch my toes? What on Earth??!!" I said. After a brief discussion/reminder that her Dad teaches yoga and asks everyone if they can touch (read: demonstrate that they can touch) their toes the conversation moved forward. While we went on to discuss our weekend plans I found myself distracted with wondering if I could touch my toes. I thought 'I'm pretty sure I can. I do - do yoga. I mean I stretch after I run and everything' then I realized I totally was not paying attention to the conversation at all. I jumped right back into the conversation to hear her saying something about a kayak. "No way. You are not doing that again. It really stresses me out." I said. What?! She can't even swim, she SHOULD NOT be kayaking in the OCEAN!!! She responded with "They canceled it due to low attendance anyways". "Oh thank goodness" I said. It was at this point I told her that I was distracted with if I could touch my toes and had to literally stop myself from getting up and touching (or lord help me, trying to touch) my toes. We both laughed.

To answer your question, yes, I can, in fact, touch my toes. As soon as I hung up with her I gave it a try and was successful. However, as I wrote this post I got up and made sure I could still touch them several times. So, tell me this - can you touch your toes?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Oh Forgetful One....

If you keep up with my blog you already know that my parents were in town from 5/17 to 5/26. That's right 10 days!! Actually, I have no complaints - I'm just thankful that they were able to visit.

SERIOUS WARNING! Keep reading at your own risk!

Anyways, what people might not know is that my Mom was in a fatal car accident when I was a sophomore in high school. She was the sole survivor in the accident; both the driver of the car she was in and the driver that hit them head on at 45 miles per hour died on impact. I took care of my Mom at home while I was in high school after that for some time since she was sent home with brain damage, internal bleeding, as well as other injuries until she could walk again (which, came years later). Well, the brain damage part of it resulted in the loss of my Mom's short term memory (she usually forgets things after a few seconds, sometimes minutes if you're lucky), which leads me to this fun story (btw, she's doing better now-a-days).

While visiting my Mom requested that she be able to watch the finale Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) episode. However, there was an hour long show on Monday 5/24 and then the 2 hour finale was on 5/25. She didn't know this is how it was going to be done, she thought there was a finale show on 5/24 and that was it. So, when they kept saying (during the 5/24 show) that the finale would be on tomorrow (again, 5/25), my Mom got really upset. We told her we could watch the finale show the next day and that seemed to calm her down. Although, what we had not anticipated is them showing the show from 5/24 immediately before the finale show on 5/25 - this is where things got really fun....

As I said before, during the 5/24 DWTS show they kept mentioning the finale show being on "tomorrow". Well, replaying the same show on the day of the finale was VERY confusing to my Mom, again - since she has no short term memory. Every time they would say "Watch the finale show tomorrow to see who wins" or something like that my Mom would throw her arms up in complete frustration and say "Tomorrow! I thought it was on tonight!!". To which, my Dad, Binderclips, and I would remind her that they were replaying a show from yesterday and that the finale was on right after it - TONIGHT. We did this for the entire show and it was really fun when the couples danced then got scored by the judges. Since my Mom had no recollection of the show she would wait in anticipation for the scores while my Dad would say (right before a judge gave his/her score) "it's going to be a 9, I just know it". When it was a 9 my Mom would be flabbergasted at how he knew what they were going to say every single time. It was great. Needless to say, we all laughed A LOT that night.

Anyways, living with my Mom and her lack of short term memory has taught me a lot. Namely, to be patient and even if I had to tell my Mom every day 2-3 times that "yes, we are going to the Nelson Atkins Art Museum on Friday", it did NOT kill me to have to repeat it. It's also taught me to be super paranoid about my own memory, for example this morning I woke up frantically trying to remember what I had for dinner last night....when I remembered I felt better and reassured myself that my memory was still functioning normally. Please tell me other people do this?? :)

Any who, have a great day everyone. Make Up Words Wednesdays will be back next week, but still feel free to throw a new word in the mix on this hump day!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

What on Earth am I Doing? - Follow Up (Finally, I know)

Hello Everyone!!! Sorry I haven't had a post in a while, we have had visitors staying with us for just about 2 weeks straight (my parents for 10 days and my sister-in-law, her husband, and our niece for 3 days).

I would have posted in between the visits, but I had to clean in preparation for the next set of visitors to arrive. Needless to say, I'm a bit tired, but - I'M BACK!! (picture me doing the cabbage patch right about here, except in slow mo - since I'm so tired)

Any who, I thought a follow up to my "What on Earth am I Doing?" post was necessary, so here I go:

Prior to my parents arriving Binderclips took a picture of me doing the above (again, yes, I am inside of the mattress cover). I asked you all what you thought I was doing and got a range of responses starting with "testing the comfort of the bed", to me needing "me time" away from the dogs and finding it there, to stuffing the mattress into the cover (a response which mentioned bidet covers - Vishal, I am soo using that word instead of duvet from now on, btw), to hiding from work, to having an Alice in Wonderland moment (which, I would NOT put past me) - all of which, are great guesses. Thanks everyone for your responses!

Before I tell you, I feel like I should mention that Binderclips INSISTED that we needed a new mattress cover prior to our guests arriving. However, when I unzipped the mattress cover I am in above I noticed something....there was another mattress cover underneath it!!! So, counting the new one and the ones on the bed - we had 3, yes, count them, 1, 2, 3 mattress covers (for our guest bed)!!! It was at this point that I came to the realization that Binderclips has (brace yourselves folks), well, a mattress cover issue. Immediately I ran into our room exclaiming to Binderclips "tell me, when I unzip our mattress cover how many covers are going to be beneath it?!" and "how long has this been going on?" I was shocked I hadn't noticed it earlier, to be honest.

To my surprise this issue is only specific to our guest bed for some reason. I guess one thing's for sure, if you come to visit us, you do not have to worry about the mattress being dirty or having bed bugs. YAY for clean mattresses! BOOO to hubby mattress cover weirdness!! ;)

Ok, ok, so I guess I should tell you why I was inside the mattress cover now. Well, initially the mattress pad (which I'm laying on inside of the mattress cover) was on top of both of the mattress covers. I decided it would be a good idea to put the mattress pad inside of the outer mattress cover so that it wouldn't be so shifty for visitors. However, this required me to climb inside of it as I positioned the shifty mattress pad inside. As I was doing this I was asking Binderclips for his assistance to which I heard the camera shutter sound. Thanks again Binderclips for helping!! I did eventually get the mattress pad in position but right at that moment the dogs jumped on top of it to which I exclaimed "GET THEM OFF NOW, I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT DIE!!" was a bit overdramatic, but I really felt that way at the time.

I hope everyone had a nice relaxing Memorial Day weekend! I plan to get back to my usual post a day or every other day schedule, so look for more posts coming soon!