Thursday, April 25, 2013

Don't Judge Me

Today is not one of my better days, let me just start with that.

Like any other morning I got up and got dressed (sounds normal so far right?). Things were as usual until I was in the middle of a call for work.

As I sat on the call I noticed something moving near my foot out of the corner if my eye. I looked down to see a gigantic (and I mean HUGE) centipede crawling around. Immediately I screamed as if I was being kidnapped or something. At that point I remembered I was on a call for work. My first thought was 'thank goodness I was on mute!' My second thought was 'great! Now I have to present my teams' information' (which is on my computer in the area where I encountered the centipede, the area in which I can't bare to be in).

At that moment they call me to present our information...I grab the laptop and like a madwoman rip the cord out of the wall. I'm out of breath because I'm so stressed from the encounter with the bug. Standing, with my laptop in my hands, I give our status knowing that I sound as if I just ran a marathon.

I decide to go sit down at the kitchen table to calm myself down, then see this post it note that I wrote out earlier today:

In case you can't read my chicken scratch it says "I put my bra on inside out today and didn't notice for a couple if hours."

I'm not sure what's worse; the fact that I wrote myself a note like this (I wrote it to remind myself that I did it because I wanted to remember to tell Binderclips, and lets face it - I'm VERY forgetful lately) or the fact that I actually did it?

OR that I forgot to fix it and, therefore, am still wearing my bra inside out? (Oh come on! It's a sports bra type thing in my defense.)

Any who, I thought you all needed to know about all of this (as embarrassing as it is). Don't judge - you know you're not perfect either and surely you've put something on inside out at some point?

Alrighty, that's it from me. Later gators!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Repost: Casualties of the Underworld

Ok, ok, so there may be some confusion over on facebook about whether or not I've had bugs in my undies at some clear up the confusion here is the post regarding how I may have lost some undies at the doctor's office. Enjoy!!

Here are some pictures from Baby G's 13 month photos. :)

Originally posted 9/1/2010

I had to go to the doctor's a couple of weeks ago. So, I got there early, checked in with the receptionist, then decided to meander around the waiting room (which, was empty at the time) looking at the literature they had posted.

Just as I picked up something to read the nurse called me back. I followed her back to the "surprise zone" to undergo some surprise testing. I've decided to call it the "surprise zone" because I had no idea that; 1) The test being done would be much more invasive than I had originally expected and 2) The lady who performed the surprise test also surprised me by trying to sell me jewelry at the end of it.

Any who, after making no jewelry purchases I was essentially on my way out and done with my appointment. This is where things really took a turn for the worse....

As I started to head out and back into the waiting room, I noticed the receptionist carrying some paper towel and heading out there as well. As she opened the door we both walked out. It was at this point that I noticed that everyone in the waiting room was in a fit of laughter (the waiting room was full also). Then, I heard one of the woman say "Someone was in a hurry to get a PAP smear!" followed by even more laughter.

As if in slow motion I looked down to see what everyone was looking (and laughing) at....

It was a pair of my underwear!!! Specifically, Michigan State University underwear that Binderclips had bought me some time ago. In my head I began to freak out thinking "What do I do? What DO I DO??!! Binderclips is going to KILL me!! And they are one of my favorite pairs of undies!!" By the way, when I told this story to my friend it was at this point that she responded with "Abandon the undies!!! Abandon. The. Undies!!!"

As I looked at my undies on the floor of the waiting room I had a flashback to the day prior to the appointment and that's when I realized what had happened. The day before the appointment Binderclips and I had went swimming. I had been wearing the jeans I wore to the doctor's appointment and had taken them off with my undies in them and forgot about them. When I got dressed for the appointment I had put my jeans back on and must have pushed my undies down into one of the pant legs (please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this before?).

Anyways, after some major contemplation, what do you think I decided to do? If you guessed pick them up and say something like "Ooooo, sorry about that. Let me just get those out of your way." as I picked them up - you're wrong. Sadly, I actually left them behind.

However, as I walked out of the waiting room (again, saying goodbye to my beloved MI State undies) I tried to hold my laughter in. As soon as I got into the elevator I started laughing hysterically, thank goodness I was alone.

When I got out to my car I decided to give Binderclips a call. I asked him "So, do you want the good news or the bad news first?" I shared the good news first (everything looked A-Ok according to the doctor), then broke the bad news to him. I simply said "I lost my undies, the MI state ones." After describing how it happened to him, he responded with "You know, it wouldn't be so bad if you hadn't done this before!" Then he reminded me of the time that I had the same thing happen early on in our relationship, except that time it happened in a grocery store. Someone saw me drop something (I'm not sure if they realized they had dropped out of my pant leg or just thought I had dropped them) and went to pick them up to hand to me. When they realized what they were (think embarrassing undies, unlike my MI State undies - which, were boy shorts) - they said "Ooo, ummm, never mind" then walked away embarrassed.

Now when I leave the house Binderclips tells me to "come back with the same number of undies I left with". Only me folks, only me....

So, have you done something like this before?