Friday, January 31, 2014

A Letter to a Person Who Recently Unfriended Me on Facebook (PWRUMF)


I hope all is well! I wouldn't know because, well, you unfriended me and I can't see if you are ok or what is going on with you.

Two days ago you shared a news posting that was talking about the Disney Channel and how they recently had a lesbian couple on one of their shows. Your comment was that you won't be watching that show anymore or something along those lines. It seemed like it resulted in a firestorm of comments with people disagreeing and agreeing with you. I wouldn't have even noticed the post if one of our mutual friends hadn't pointed it out. This individual didn't comment on your post and neither did I, and just so you know - the individual is gay. The person who pointed it out was saddened by the post, which makes me sad because I care about that person. 

Soon after I read the post you unfriended me. I only know this because the same person who told me about it asked me if I could see the post later in the day as they thought you had deleted it. When I went to check if it was still there, we were no longer friends.

That being said, I think it's important to understand that people have different beliefs (religious or otherwise) which, in some cases, dictate what people do in their every day lives. Sometimes (in fact many times) I don't understand this especially when it results in excluding certain groups of people based on various different reasons (sexual orientation for example). Let's just say "I don't get it" and leave it at that.

Either way you lean on this issue - I respect your beliefs. I may not agree with them but I do respect them.

So, you may ask yourself, why am I posting this if the person will never see this? (Let's be honest, even if I post it on Facebook, not many people will read it.) I'm posting it to say thank you to this PWRUMF. I'm thanking you because you made me come to terms with what I already knew but I guess didn't want to admit to myself; we aren't really friends and never really were to begin with (acquaintances - yes, friends - no).

It stung my ego a little for you to unfriend me, but after coming to this realization I realize I'm not going to miss your posts (even though they were few and far in between). I always hope you are doing well but I've never thought "I wonder how ____ is doing?" about you, which leads me to believe it was the right choice for both of us.

My hopes are that you unfriended me for this reason and not because I have different beliefs than you do. If that's the reason you unfriended me than I can say without hesitation, I think it's the wrong decision; one that only someone with a closed mind would make.


P.S. Maybe we'll see each other at a class reunion someday - that'll be fun, right? And not in any way awkward. :)


  1. Sorry you are upset but FB is like a highschool on speed. You cannot use the tools you'd normally deploy but worse you read more into something and form a belief tree from it which cannot be valid. Put it like this, half the time 'I' don't know what's going on with me, how the dickens can I then expect someone in a different area/culture/country/state/sex or even side of the bed understand better/more. I think the very best we can expect is a bit of tolerance.
    You do know the FB gnomes are quite freaky about protecting a perceived position of liberalism and could well have removed your name leaving both you and the other side bemused.

    1. Oh Vince how I have missed your unbiased opinion (seriously)...How the hell are you??

    2. I don't know any of us are unbiased. I happen to detest FB. I detested it from the first time I had friends of mine ask me to connect up. Remember the business model is uses is one of exclusion. It began by telling people you couldn't join unless you were in a very exclusive college like Harvard. And this very thread is woven into every strand of its make up.
      To me exclusion and secrecy are at the core to each and every bit of abuse going. They allow, nay promote, a control that you'll find underpinning every 'ism' you care to mention. Facebook is not like Twitter, even though there are quasi liberal moved to shift twitter onto the ground that has people banning and community sanctioning, nonetheless it is far more democratic. Plus they seem to have quelled the hacking which was rife when you were last on it a few years ago.
      I think a lot of that came from bloggers who migrated to Twitter to build you vast numbers of followers and then sell those a/c to commercial bodies. At the time I wasn't bothered. I just took it as some fresh mom using her education to generate income. But I hadn't thunk through the implications 'after' she had formed the list of a few thousand followers and had passed the list on.

      Me, I'm grand. Coining new phrases. Guess what 'Orinoco Standard' means. Well here in the EU certain internet shopping outlets are sending crap. But it's done in such a way that means people don't return it as the return P&P is equal to or greater than the value of the product. It's you basic Mail Order Catalogue selling technique. But it's also what killed that model of business stone dead. At one stage in the US west Sears could and did ship Champagne to miners in Virginia City. Mind you I've just been refunded for one thing and there is another 'replacement' in transit.

      Oh, I've an exhibit of photographs on at the County library at this moment. No sales yet, but in truth I'm not sure I want sales from that quarter.