Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life. Which, I feel like must be in the air because one of my fellow bloggers recently had a post in which she was very introspective also. She is really talented, so I would recommend visiting her blog when you get a chance. (Yeah, I totally put 2 links to her blog in one sentence. So, what are you going to do about it? Huh?)
Anyways, I, myself, have been very introspective lately as well. The one thought that my mind keeps settling on is that I'm too nice. This may be a strange concept to some as I have not always been this way. In fact, in my early years I was really selfish. I remember being one of those types that used to wait for others to stop talking so I could talk about myself, not listening really to what they were saying at all along the way. I remember not valuing people and my relationships with them as much as I should have. I also remember feeling alone a lot (most likely because of my own actions and lack of real effort with others). The other thing I remember is that I wasn't happy. I had some very serious situations at home that I was dealing with that, now that I look back on them, realize that they contributed to me being emotionally non-existent/shutdown for a large portion of my youth. So, in short, if you were one of the people that experienced me this way, let me just say, I'm sorry to you. Looking back I realize how lucky I was to even have any of my friends and family around me (and putting up with me) during that time.
While I feel very different now than I did when I was younger, I still feel I have a lot of room for improvement (don't we all?). I also am extremely thankful for every experience I went through as I feel without such experiences I wouldn't have realized how much potential I had (and still have) to change for the better.
Any who, I digress....so, back to my original reason for this post: I'm too nice and feel like I get taken advantage of because of it sometimes. I've decided that I need to be a little more assertive. However, this is going to be really hard for me. In my adulthood I've developed an easygoingness that results in me doing things that sometimes I would not prefer doing just because I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I really have no issues with doing what others want to, but on rare occasion I do and, from here on out - I'm going to try to speak up about it when such an occasion arises. Or in other words, "I'mma Be" more assertive (you can imagine me dancing to that song at this point because I have a home office and I actually may be dancing).
Also, I have included a picture from Binderclips' and my wedding reception below to help you in imagining me dancing (you may be asking yourself if the picture was necessary and after you see it, I'm certain you will agree that it was). I believe I was dancing to thriller at this point, but you get the idea. Oh, and yeah I'm not going to provide any other explanation for this picture -I'll leave that up to your imagination. All I'm going to say is we have A LOT of pictures equally as entertaining as this one from our reception. Good times folks! Good times! Have a great weekend everyone.
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Thanks for the shout out! I'm glad you posted this, because I feel like we didn't have enough time to talk last night about what has been bothering you. Whenever you're ready to get together again and let it all out, call me and I'll be there!
ReplyDeleteI used to be too nice, too. I think that living in L.A. kind of changed me, because people are more likely to take advantage of you there than anywhere else I've been. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized that if I don't stand up for myself, I'll get walked on. This became really apparent several years ago when I had a "friend" who would invite me over and then not be there when I got to her house. SO RUDE. That was sort of the turning point: I began leaving people who made me feel bad and took advantage of me out of my life, because if I let them in, they just caused me anxiety. Best thing I ever did!
...that may not have been what you were talking about. But anyway, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and say no every once in a while! :)
No problem! :) That is really rude! No, that's exactly what I'm talking about...just being taken advantage of in general. Sounds like you know exactly what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, I will be sure to say no every once in a while...or at least try to, maybe I should practice? I think I might refuse to make dinner tonight, that kind of counts right? ;)
Life is all about growing, isn't it? When you get it all figured out, let me know, will you? Great picture!!!
ReplyDeleteBB: It sure is! Oh, IF I get it all figured out. Same goes for me, if you get it all figured out, let me know! Thanks for the compliments on the picture! I have many more like it!! :D
ReplyDeleteBTW, I feel like I should mention that the guy in this picture is not Binderclips since Binderclips told me that people might think he is. He's not, but he's a great friend, who - just happens to have the same color gotee as Binderclips (they actually kind of look like they could be related in person also). Just an FYI! :)
ReplyDeleteI aim to get "too nice" - it sounds a good trait to me (if also personally unobtainable)! That said, it shouldn't come at a cost of being untrue to yourself. Sometimes you need to assert yourself, which is what I think you are saying. It takes courage to do that, but it's nearly always worth it. So glad to have popped by - I think I am going to like getting to know you!
ReplyDeleteShrinky: I completely agree that is shouldn't come at a cost of being untrue to yourself and think that's great advice. Thanks for the advice and thank you for stopping by as well. I look forward to getting to know you also!! :)
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