Tuesday, September 28, 2010

NASA News is Dangerous

Picture origin:
I've got a white-knuckle grip on the thing....well, the parts of it that aren't made out of marshmallows, anyways. Actually, I can't really tell what the part that I have this white-knuckle grip on is made of. My first thought is candy canes, but I look down and no dice... 'I should've figured as much since it didn't feel sticky' I think to myself. Maybe it's made of some new element that was made for such an occasion? By "occassion" I mean - made to withstand the amount of heat in the Sun's corona...

Mmmmmmm, I could use a corona right about now. I picture myself on a beach, relaxing on a lounge chair with a corona in hand. Then I start to feel immense heat. 'Holy shit am I hot!' I think 'where the eff is this beach located anyways?' Then realize I'm not on a beach at all, but instead am being propelled towards the sun on a probe made of marshmallows.

How did I get so off track in my thought process? Oh, errr, oh yeah, the Sun's corona, that's right. Did you know that the corona is a layer of the Sun's atmosphere? Either did I until recently, but I'll come back to that in a few. Now, back to the marshmallow probe that I'm on.

As we thrust closer and closer to the Sun through the atmosphere the marshmallow melts and flies off the probe, passing by me and missing me at narrow margins. I hang onto the probe wondering how I, myself, do not melt and fly off. I've got some crazy outfit on that looks like a normal astronaut's outfit but it's green, I mean like bright green (think fluorescent green). It's made out of something that looks similar to a what the Stay Puff marshmallow guy looked like in the movie Ghostbusters.

This is actually me and some of my friends on segways, just in case you needed a mental picture. I'm the one in the dorky yellow helmet.

The probe looks like a segway (see picture above). Everything but the handle bars and the platform are made of marshmallows. 'Well, at least I'm not being left behind by other astronauts this time' I think as I remind myself of the time I was abandoned by astronauts. Just as I think this I see a meteor heading right at me. I duck so that it misses me, then wake up.

I wake up to realize that I'm hot. 'Surprise, surprise' I think. When I get hot while sleeping I tend to have nightmares (see both The Abandoned By Astronauts and The Snaz Fish incidents for examples of this). This combined with the fact that I "should not be allowed to read any NASA news what-so-ever" per Binderclips - also, usually results in nightmares for me.

So, in short, Binderclips is right, I shouldn't read NASA news because it's dangerous for both him (he does have to sleep with me, again if you have not read The Snaz Fish incident, you need to) and I. BUT - I refuse to stop reading it, so - that's right folks, you can look forward to more nightmares in the future. If you're interested in reading the article I was reading click on this. Basically, in 2018 NASA is going to send a probe towards the Sun's corona to collect data about it, which, will NOT have anybody on it and probably will not be made of marshmallows.

Later gators!


  1. I don't really get the segways. I keep thinking pogo-stick.
    And I do wish NASA would quit firing off things in all directions just to satisfy some little twerp in an obscure mid western Uni'. Especially at the Sun, why would you fire something at what amounts to a ruddy great bomb. And calling it a probe, implies that you can wheel the patient into a operating theatre and fix what you broke like some ballsed up endoscopy. Not firing a ruddy bullet at an explosive balloon.
    This is the epitome of the Latin saying, fishing with a Gold hook. Where there is no amount of information that could be derived that could balance the possibility of a fuck up.

  2. How cool are you on that machine.

    No more NASA news for you, Missy! Ignorance is bliss. (But, uh, keep that helmet on, just in case.)

  3. Oh the segway.. they always looked dangerous to me. Especially me because I can trip over air and break something.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog - I'm your newest follower.

  4. Vince: Man, me on a pogo-stick would not be a good sight (but it makes me laugh a lot to think about, so thanks for that). Nice analogies! I don't quite get it either. :-|

    BB: Oh man, I was not cool at all actually. We all felt like HUGE nerds, but thanks to groupon we got an awesome deal for the segway tours - so, we just couldn't pass the opportunity up. Also, I MAY have thought I was going to die at one point while riding it. LOL

    Midwester Mama Holly: OMG, they are dangerous - see my comment to BB above. For someone that has the same trouble as you do walking (apparently, based on your comment) I'm surprised I didn't get hurt. Thanks for stopping by mine as well. :)

  5. The probe should be made out of limes.

  6. Huh. So, you read something about the sun...and you equate that to beer and....marshmallows...and being left behind by the snotty other astronauts??

    I think you need to maybe *slow down* on reading the NASA stuff. Just so you only dream about the beer....beer is GOOD.

  7. Turn to Binderclips and say through my dreaming space travel I have found a need to visit Uranus! Then watch him run and cry like a 3 year old girl.
    Mr Monkey

  8. Missed Periods: What a great idea. Thanks, now I'll probably have a nightmare involving a probe made out of limes. lol

    Kathryn: Point taken. I definitely need to slow down on the reading of NASA news. From here on out I will be sure to read about beer and alcoholic beverages and do my best to dream about them instead. :)

    Mr Monkey: ROFL! I will definitely give it a try. ;)