Friday, October 1, 2010

Responsible Party of 1

This is the gym in which I taught many aerobics classes and where I offended the entire class one day. YAY me! ;)

There are times in your life when you just have to ask yourself some serious questions, folks. Well, and today is one of those days for me. In thinking about responsibility, specifically personal responsibility, I started to ask these questions to myself:

  1. Who once offended an entire aerobics class with just one sentence? 
  2. Who once lost her favorite underwear at the doctors without even almost realizing it?
  3. Who almost bit Binderclips ear off while sleeping?
  4. Who once accidentally posted her age as 300 years older than she actually is?
  5. Who makes up songs with titles like "Poop Eater"?

Sadly, the answer to all of these questions is Me. Ok, ok, so I'm not really sad about it at all. Actually, all of these things that I have done are really funny to me. Is there something wrong with me you ask? Ab-so-freak-in-loot-ly.

I'm no longer a victim but an active participant in my own life.

Instead of thinking 'Well if I hadn't been so distracted by the microphone headset thingy (I use such technical terms only for you folks) I had to wear while teaching aerobics (that could be heard OUTSIDE of the building as well as inside). And saying "At the end of this workout you should look like me" meaning sweaty not physically, thereby offending the entire class in one instant'. And at first thinking they were all jerks for getting mad at me (since all I wanted was for them to have a good workout). I now think that the pointing at myself (actually I was pointing to my armpits to indicate just how sweaty I was, since I had just got done teaching another aerobics class) and saying "At the end of this workout you should look like me" could be a tad misleading.

Also, I may have thought 'not sure why that lady is picking up my underwear with paper towel off the floor, it's not like I have a disease or something' upon seeing my favorite (actually they were more of Binderclips' favorite than mine) pair of undies on the ground at the doctor's office. Instead I thought 'How in the hell did I manage that one?' upon seeing them laid neatly out on the floor of the waiting room. If you want to find out how I did manage that one, read this.

Yet another example is when I woke up from a terrifying dream in which I was competing with the Snaz fish to find Binderclips staring at me with a terrified look on his face. Instead of thinking 'what on earth is wrong with him' (actually I did think this at first) and after learning the reasoning behind why he looked so terrified (I MAY have been squirming all around and chomping at his ear) I thought 'This poor sap, he had no clue that I'd turn out to be like this' instead.

Anyways, you get the idea. Basically, I do stupid stuff all of the time and I'll be honest, for a while there I kind of felt like a victim of crazy happenings. That is, until I realized that NONE of these things would have happened had I not been there fully participating in each and every embarrassing instant. Moral of the story is, if you find yourself thinking 'how do these things always happen to me?' then I think you need to re-evaluate how your actions could have contributed to the situation. It's called cause and effect folks and I'm a master of it.

Any who, have a great Friday everyone!

Later gators!


  1. Hahaha! The aerobics story is classic! How embarrassing, yet hilarious.

    I like you just the way you are, quirks and all. :)

  2. Dear heavens you could park a blimp in that space. 'Tis little wonder you needed the Madonna mic.
    And what the hell is it these days that people automatically think any statement that could be taken more than one way, it's the worse option they choose to absorb rather than the benign.
    I remember back in college I held the door to the library open for the person following me and had the face eaten off of me by some strung out bint. The thing was with this door there was a right nasty bite to it springwise. So I let go the door slaps shut in a nanno.

    On the knickers, back in the day the girl gave the colour to the knight. Still you would have to say it gives another meaning to the term 'unfurling the Jolly Rodger'.

    On the ear thing, if that's you in the above photo, he ain't kicking that Button out of his bed. Still, it might be just as well he doesn't see the first Alien film, EVER.

  3. TB: That pretty much sums up my life! lol Thanks, it's good to know that, despite my weirdness people still like me. :)

    Vince: I know!! The space was HUGE. It was overwhelming to teach in it at first.

    In the class' defense I WAS pointing at myself when I said it. However, I did think that they would notice the sweaty pits I was exhibiting (and pointing at)....but, of course, they didn't. Gross I know, but that's what you get when you have to teach 2 classes back-to-back.

    As to your "unfurying the Jolly Rodger" comment - ROFL!! Seriously, that's hilarious. Funny thing is, I do have some knickers with the Jolly Rodger on them and had something completely separate happen with them (however, equally as embarrassing). Also, I don't think Binderclips has ever seen Alien, thank goodness. :D

    MA Fat Woman: Good, then I'm not alone!

  4. You are hillarious!! I laughed out loud at the underwear comment... I think my co-workers were all wondering what the heck I was laughing about ;-)

  5. I love the aerobics story. Did you explain it to them or did you just let it go?

  6. Jen: Thanks for the compliment! Now when I leave the house Binderclips asks me if I can make sure to come home with the same number of undies I left the house with. :D

    Missed Periods: Thank you! It's one of my favorite stories also. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.

    I did explain it to them, actually. When I realized why they took it the way they did I said "Oh no, not like me" (motioning up and down my body) then said "like me" (as I pointed at my sweaty pits again) and followed it up with "you know, sweaty?" They all started laughing after that - thank goodness. :)

  7. Hee hee, it sounds like you're handling your accident-prone-ness fairly well, though. Strange things happen to all of us, but we're not all good sports when it comes to handling it. Yay you :)

  8. Cruella: Thank you! After embarrassing myself soo many times over the years I've realized it's just what I do well and have accepted it. ;)

    Thanks for becoming a new follower, I'm a new follower of yours as well. I'm looking forward to reading your blog regularly.

  9. Is it wrong that I couldn't find anything wrong with what you were saying? I would work harder if my aerobic instructor said I had to look like her (because I'm competitive that way) and I happen to love the word poop so putting that word in song title makes absolute sense to me!

  10. Sandra: I don't see anything wrong with it at all, however I MAY be slightly biased. lol

    Thanks for stopping by and becoming a new follower! I returned the favor and might have posted a comment on your blog at the same time you posted on mine (is that weird? Naaah)...Sounds like we found each other for a reason. ;)

  11. Oh, too funny. So.....why didn't the people want to look just like you? I mean, there's nothing wrong with wanting people to aspire to your awesomeness, right?

    I also see nothing wrong with your undies winding up on the floor of the doctor's office. But I *do* think it's rude that someone would use a paper towel to pick them up.

    I'm just saying...

  12. Kathryn: Good point! ;) Also, I know, right? It's totally rude to pick them up with paper towel....seriously, if I was picking up their undies I would... wait, I would totally use paper towel. Or I would just leave them there. LOL

  13. I wouldn't have been offended. What that frack?

  14. Annah: Thanks - you are definitely my kind of people. ;)