Tuesday, December 14, 2010

He was tall, it was dark, and I was handsome

Look I CAN be handsome....
....problem is I can also be weird at times.

He was tall, it was dark, and I was handsome. What? Binderclips tells me I'm handsome all the time, a woman can be handsome, you know?

Anyways, I was sleeping on the couch in some weird house I had never seen before. I felt like I had had too much to drink because I as I laid there I kept seeing "foggy faces" (you know you recall seeing/speaking to someone but only recall bits and pieces of the conversation?). Just as I was about to fall asleep a tall man entered through the front door, a very tall man - like freakishly tall.

The couch I was laying on was facing a hallway that lead into the kitchen of the house. As the man entered he looked at me. Terrified, I closed my eyes quickly hoping he didn't see me looking at him. He kept walking towards the kitchen, so I figured he didn't see me looking at him. The hallway to the kitchen was long and the entire time the man walked down it he peered over at me several times as I again shut my eyes quickly.

Finally, he reached the kitchen and that's when I got even more terrified for some reason (maybe I was worried about him stealing food? Or the microwave? Who knows). It was at this point that I decided to yell for help and warn others of the man. However, when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I kept trying to say "Help!" but I literally could NOT speak. I tried many times to yell or even just say something but NOTHING was coming out. I didn't try to get up though, I don't know if it was because I couldn't get up or if I just didn't think to get up - either way laying there yelling was the approach I decided to take. Then, I realized that the only time I try to yell and can't is when I'm having a nightmare.

'I must be having a nightmare!' I thought. But instead of thinking 'wake up. wake up. wake up' I thought 'you're not going to be able to yell, so just stop trying'.

So, I stopped trying and drifted off into deep sleep again where my nightmare was again waiting for me. This time the man looked even more sinister; 1 eye seemed to be bulging out more than last time and he seemed more scarred up. 'SHIT!' I thought, I was again terrified, however had no recollection of the first time I had the nightmare. It felt as though I was experiencing the terrifying situation for the first time all over again. So, as soon as he got to the kitchen I decided to try to yell. But, of course, nothing came out. After several unsuccessful attempts I decided I must've been having a nightmare 'cause that's the only time I can't yell when I try to. 'Just stop trying' I thought, then again fell back into a deep sleep where again, the nightmare was waiting for me. This repeated at least 2 more times until....

I finally was able to say "Help!" but it was more like "Hhhh..eellllllllll....P" and I just kept saying it over and over again hoping, no praying that someone would hear me.

Well, someone did. But what I didn't expect was for it to Binderclips. And what I didn't expect on top of that was for him to wake me up saying "OK, wake up" in an irritated tone. Funny thing was that he had woken me up in the middle of me trying to say "help", I think I was actually saying the "eelllllll" part of it.

Binderclips: OK, wake up

Hulabuns: "....eelllll, oh" I say kind of sounding like I'm from England or something. "Errrrr, ummm, was I just talking in my sleep?"

Binderclips: Already rolled over and facing in the opposite direction he says "yeah, and making it impossible for me to sleep"

Hulabuns: What was I saying? Wait, was I saying "help"?... because I was having a terrifying dream

Binderclips: I guess it kind of sounded like "help"

Hulabuns: OMG, it was soo scary. There was this guy...

Binderclips: Can you tell me about it in the morning? I'm kind of trying to sleep

Hulabuns: Sadly I say "ok"

As I lay there I worry the man will appear again. After a couple of minutes I decide to try to tell Binderclips about it, it just can't wait until morning.

Hulabuns: You awake?

No answer...

Hulabuns: I swat at his arm then ask sweetly "Hey, you awake?"

Still no movement...

Hulabuns: I push him, since he's laying on his side, he sways back and forth. Then say, again sweetly "Hey you awake over there?"

Binderclips: Ummm yeah, did you just push me?

Hulabuns: No, why would I do that?

Binderclips: Hmmm, coulda sworn you pushed me...

Hulabuns: Frantically I say "Ok, about my nightmare.... This guy came into this house I was in. He was tall, I mean freakishly tall. And he was elderly and he had a walker with the tennis ball thingies on the ends of the legs...."

Binderclips: Wait. Do you hear yourself? Elderly? With a walker? I'm going back to sleep.

So, I stopped bothering him. (Well, I'm sure me bursting out into a fit of laughter didn't help him sleep restfully, but, seriously, what is wrong with me?) I really was terrified of the elderly man with the walker in my nightmare, that is, until I realized he was an elderly man with a walker.

Sorry about the long post, but do you guys ever fall into the "Yell for help nightmare loop?" or is it just me?

Have a great day! Later gators!


  1. Your title made me laugh out loud. When I think of handsome women, I think of manly women. You are far from that. But I won't hold that against you.
    I hate those kinds of dreams! I try to yell and wonder why the man next to me won't come to my defense. Then I realize I'm sleeping. When I finally wake up and want to talk about my dream, I get the same reaction as you got. Who are they to ignore wanting someone to talk about a dream. Just because they were dead asleep. Big deal, wake up and listen! *sheesh*
    I hope that the old man doesn't come back to your dreams. He might take his tennis balls off the walk and throw them at you.

  2. I have something similar, but in my nightmare, I can't punch. My body feels immersed in invisible jelly or something.

    Cute pics.

  3. OneMixedBag: Thank you for thinking I'm not manly. Clearly our men need a lesson in wife nightmare etiquette. OMG, if he comes back I am totally kicking him in the knee. lol

    Lightning Bug's Butt: Oh, I have had that before too (except for with me it's ninja kicks or karate chops) it just makes me mad. Also, that's exactly how I felt or like a huge safe was sitting on my chest...something along those lines. Thanks for the compliment! :)

  4. Yeah, I'm with the mixedone above. Handsome is used when Sporty isn't available and certainly neither applies here. Cute as a botton is a 'merican phrase that comes to mind. There are others but ...
    The first handsome person to come to mind is Martina Navratilova.(It's fricking amasing what the spellchecked knows and doesn't. Whoa thunk an an 80's tennis player would and an 's' in amasing -proper spelling btw- won't.) Madeline Allbright would be another.
    On the dreaming or rather nightmareing. I'll bet you, you are eating something that your body is telling you to quit. Eat a lot of cream in your cooking do you, it's something simple like that. Not fennel seeds or Star-fruit.

  5. Sometimes I have nightmares where I can't move, and I wake up and I still can't move. It's so scary. Secret: I sleep with the light on when my husband's away.

  6. Your title is hysterical. I hate when I have nightmares and I can't wake up from them. It so scary!

  7. hahahaha omg happens all the time!! i had that same kind of weird dream.. okay not the same at all but it was one of those " i need to wake up!!" but i just cant! great post.. and umm an anonymous elderly man with a walker who just stares at you IS creepy!

  8. Vince: Awwww thanks! I'll make sure Binderclips is "schooled" on the difference. Maybe THEN he'll stop calling me "handsome". lol I try not to eat at least 2 hours before bedtime...I have noticed that I have the nightmares when I get really hot while sleeping. I think that's the culprit. Also, I will be sure not to be eating any of the "star fruit". Don't get me started on fennel seeds...they kinda make me mad. ;)

    Missed Periods: That sounds really freaking scary! Why can't you move when you wake up? Also, good idea about leaving the light on when the hubs is away. Thanks for that! :)

    Climb2Nowhere: Have you updated your blog with the rest of the story yet? Seriously, I need to know what happens to your dog. lol Thanks for becoming a new follower and commenting. I'm a new follower of yours as well.

    Constar: For real? Oh, I'm so glad. Everyone is making me feel so normal! Also, LOL to the "anon elderly man with a walker who just stares at you IS creepy!" Hilarious. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  9. No, this totally happens to me.

    Especially the "hmmm...coulda sworn you just pushed me" part of the story.

  10. Somehow I missed the part in the original nightmare where the old geezer has a freakin' walker. Or maybe you left it out??

    Interesting that you're dreaming about going to sleep.

    I think Freud would have a job for life working on you. The tall man probably means you want a Big Gulp. That's all I've got...

  11. KLZ: Hehehehehe! We have to wake them up somehow! :) Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

    Kathryn: Big gulp!? Hilarious. You're probably right. :)