Thursday, December 9, 2010

Marriage - It's a Melange of Weirdness & Confusion

Well, it is, at least for Binderclips and I. We're practically masters of being weird (well, Binderclips has this covered at least) and confusing each other as well as others, so I feel like our marriage is definitely a melange of weirdness and confusion.

This is one of our engagement pictures. Notice how we look like we're leaning to one side? Well, we weren't, I assure you. But because of the curve in the bulb it looked like we were.
Anyways, as you all might have noticed just about every 2 weeks there's a fun widget (like there is today) at the bottom of my posts linking to other blogs. I'm a part of a group called the Blog Gang that has several members that post about the same topic every other week. This week our topic is Marriage. If you want to join the Blog Gang please send an email to our fearless leader, errr I mean Blog Gang Organizer Extraordinaire Susie Kline and tell her you're interested.

So, where was I? Oh yeah! I was talking about melons or melange or a melange of melons...

Did I ever tell you guys about how Binderclips and I fight about melons (watermelons, specifically)? No? When they're in season Binderclips insists (I mean INSISTS) on buying watermelons. Nothing infuriates me more than his love for them and him wanting to buy them. Why does it infuriate me, you ask? Well, I will tell you.

Every single time he buys them he sets the melon in the kitchen on the counter. We have a small kitchen with not very much counter space and he leaves it there for DAYS before he cuts it up. This results in the melon taking up valuable space (read: valuable space that I need to cook HIM food) in the kitchen. Infuriating right? In fact, we have taken to arguing in the supermarket about it.


We're grocery shopping and I'm getting some kale and lettuce, he's nowhere to be seen. I look around (stealthily) and spot him by the watermelons. I break out into a sprint (however, slow down enough ahead of time, so that he doesn't know that I practically ran over to him) to tell him to put the melon down.

Hulabuns: Thinking 'Stay calm. You can do this. You will not kill him over the watermelon. At least not here.' I say "Put the melon down, bucko" (anytime I say bucko, it's not good) "we will have no melons in our cart today."

Binderclips: But look at this one, doesn't it look sad?

Hulabuns: "NO! Well, kind of, but it's still not coming home with us." I say thinking 'There. Take that you weird melon lover.'

Binderclips: *sad face* "I feel bad putting it back. I've already picked it up and everything."

Hulabuns: *are you kidding me face* "Put the melon down."

Binderclips: *glares at me* "Who made you the melon decider?"

Hulabuns: *glares back at him*

Another couple walks by us and looks at us both glaring at each other. We unlock eyes momentarily to smile at the couple, but remain in position to glare back at each other. As soon as they walk past us, our glares at each other resume.

Hulabuns: *glaring* "Really? Melon decider? I seriously cannot believe you say these kinds of things in public."

Binderclips: *are you kidding me face* "I learned from the master. Remember the other day when you were telling me all about the "lettuce rapper" then started making up a lettuce rap IN THE GROCERY STORE?"

Hulabuns: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Binderclips: Do you want me to remind you by singing it right here and now?

Hulabuns: *calling his bluff, you could not pay him to sing in public* "Go ahead, make my day" I say in my best Clint Eastwood voice.

Binderclips: *up to no good face* "Ok, fine" he says then puts the melon down.

We pick up the rest of the groceries, then go to check out. Hmmmm, what's that I spy in the bottom of the cart? That's right folks, a watermelon. I look at Binderclips to see him grinning from ear-to-ear.

Hulabuns: *You will be lucky if that melon makes it to the car face*

Binderclips: Come on, let's hug it out

Moral of the story is, regardless of the type of relationship you have; be it with your Mom, Dad, siblings, friends, or significant other, there's most likely a mixture of something that keeps it going strong. For Binderclips and I our marriage is a mixture of both weirdness and confusion and I wouldn't have it any other way. It seems like there's always a unique mixture of characteristics that cement the bond between us and others. What are your relationships a mixture of? If you feel like sharing, I'd love to hear what they are.
In this one we are leaning to the left to compensate for the curvature in the bulb. We look like we're standing straight up right? I guess our "normal" is abnormal. Oh and yeah, that's our photographer, she managed to block her flash out but had a hard time cutting herself out of the picture.

I hope you have a great day today. Later gators!

PS Thank goodness I wrote this a couple of days ago and all I had to do was post it. I am really sick (I'm actually working with a snow hat on today, just so you know). Must've picked up a bug at the gym or something, but it's kicking my butt (like big time). However, I have to send some major thanks to Vince from Reeds, he had suggested that I drink 4-5 pint glasses of boiled but cooled water with a tablespoon of both lemon juice and honey in it. I have been following this regimen and I think it's helping. So thanks again, Vince!


  1. Oh, how well I know the watermelon issue you are having. The same thing happens here and it drives me nuts. It just sits there forever! Uggg!
    I would have to say Mr. Bernie and I are a huge ole ball of weirdness and quirkiness. We are a couple who decided to go to McDonald's on Valentine's Day. We brought table linens, real dishware, etc. Treated the whole meal like it was a fancy restaurant. Courses and all. It was a hoot.
    I think that having someone you can be stupid with is a great thing. I couldn't be with someone who is no fun.
    Glad you are on the mend!

  2. Re, the cure; Well, it wont kill you anyway. And you can add aspirin to get a good sweat going.

    Ha, you think you've got problems. At least you have another person to project onto. How would you like it if you had to have those conversations on your own.
    The other evening I bought Kakis, a four pack. And a few weeks ago it was Pomelo. And they are the most recent waste of space and money.

  3. ...doesn't it look sad!!!! bwahahaha! Yes, because surely you are going to fall for a watermelon sad face!
    Terrific post Miss Hulabuns!

  4. Well, if your worst fights are over melons, you have the marriage thing whipped! I like my melons chilled, but am the only one to eat them, so that is the catalysis for our fights--taking up too much room in the fridge. I hope you get well soon, certainly before Christmas!

  5. That's chemistry, right there.

    My marriage is a mixture of my selfishness and her generosity of spirit. It works out great!

    Now I'm craving watermelon. Well, watermelon vodka.

    Feel better!

  6. this is hilarious - my husband and I have conversations like this quite often.... and usually at the grocery store! so fun, excited to follow along! :)

  7. OneMixedBag: Thank goodness we're not alone! It's almost like they just like looking at them. lol I could not agree more that having someone you can be stupid with is a great thing.

    Vince: Thanks again for the cure, it really did help! Oh, don't worry I still have conversations on my own like that...People do not want to know what kind of stuff happens in my head, believe me. PS - I think Pomelos are overprotective grapefruits.

    Sandra: Thank you so much for the compliment on the post. Funny thing is it really did look sad. :D

    Sage: Oh man, if he wanted to keep them in our fridge I wouldn't handle that well (think: dropping it from the second story out the window type of deal). Thanks for the well wishes, I appreciate them!

    Lightning Bug's Butt: Seriously, love that name. Glad you guys have it all figured out. ;) Actually watermelon & vodka sounds good right about now...if only I had a beach to drink it on. Hmmm. Anywho, thanks for becoming a new follower, I'm a new follower of yours as well!

    Asj: Thank you! Thanks for becoming a new follower, I look forward to reading you regularly as well.