Let me preface this story with this tidbit of information: I really enjoy getting Binderclips to talk to me over the phone about embarrassing things while he's at work (and in front of co-workers that have never met me). On this particular day I called him and this is what went down:
Me: As soon as he answers the phone I say "The pirate band-aid is a no go"
Me: I tried the pirate band-aid on my toe and it's too sticky-ish
Him: Did you say pirate?
Me: Yes, I tried to replace my band-aid with the pirate one and it's too sticky-ish
Him: "Sticky-ish is not a word and please tell me that we have other band-aids aside from pirate ones?" he sounds like he's trying to be a little quiet so that no one at work hears him talking about pirates and saying things like "sticky-ish"
Me: No (refusing to tell him that we do, in fact, have other types of band-aids - he didn't say "do we have other types of band-aids?" he said "please tell me that we have other band-aids aside from pirate ones?" - I'm just refusing to tell him that we do)
Him: I swore that we had some duct tape ones in there, are you sure?
Me: Thinking 'Hmmm, forgot about the duct tape ones' (we DO actually have these also). I respond with "I strongly dislike them, therefore they are not at option" (when at all possible I try to answer questions with responses that mimic the Likert Scale (i.e. strongly disagree, disagree, neither disagree or agree, agree, strongly agree) except for I change "disagree" to "like" or "dislike")
Him: "So, you're telling me that you would like to go to the doctor's this week for your follow-up appointment with a pirate band-aid on?" again, he's talking quietly - however, this time he sounds irritated
Me: Well, they do have a skull and crossbones on them....maybe it would make me seem threatening? Like, "hurt me toe again and you'll be walkin the plank! ARRRGGHH!"
Him: Walking the plank!? Really?! I can't believe I'm having this conversation.
Me: I start to laugh. Whenever I can get him to say "I can't believe I'm having this conversation" I win (in my mind)
Him: "I gotta go" he says in a defeated voice
I also believe that if I had a nickel for every time he said "I can't believe I'm having this conversation" to me I would be rich, just an FYI. :) In case there was any question as to if I really have pirate band-aids, see below:
5 months ago