Monday, March 29, 2010

Toe Bump #1

Ever heard of the Cupid Shuffle, Bump, or Chicken Dance? If not, they're different types of dances that have been popular at some point over the years. If you are thinking the Toe Bump is something like that, you're mistaken - it's not a dance at all....

I like to walk, love to run, but like to walk. Lately this has been painful for me (walking that is), so I made a doctor's appointment. Prior to going I found a bump on my middle toe (as if my foot was flipping me the bird for wanting to run saying "screw you lady, enough of this running BS!".

I went in for my appointment and was waiting in the reception area and had to wait a little longer since the doctor had to perform an emergency surgery. Because I was making chili at home I called Binderclips to tell him to put the kidney beans in the chili, heat it for 10 minutes, then eat it. As always, this HAD to be more complicated than it should have been:

Me: Hey, can you put the kidney beans in the chili and heat it for 10 minutes? After it heats you can eat it.
Him: You want me to eat the kidney beans for 10 minutes? then heat what?
Me: No (remember I'm in the reception area at the doctors office where other people are also waiting), heat it for 10 minutes then eat it (every time I say "heat" or "eat" I try to over enunciate them, I start to get funny looks from others waiting) .
Him: Ok, so heat the kidney beans and eat the chili? Am I eating the chili for 10 minutes and why is there a time limit?
Me: I decide to try one more time, "heat the chili with the kidney beans in it, then eat it after 10 minutes"
Him: I'm so confused...I'm still not sure what to heat and what to eat and what order to do it in.
Me: At this point I've had it and decide to mess with him (because I'm sure he's messing with me). "Put the kidney beans on a cookie sheet, neatly - then make sure the kidney beans have a meet and greet prior to going into the chili to heat for 10 minutes. After that dance around on your feet, repeat once more, take a seat, then eat the chili. I've gotta go, good luck!"

At that moment they call me in to see the doctor.


  1. Love it! Good luck with the toe jam!

  2. Thanks! It wasn't until people started telling me that I should document this stuff that I realized how funny some of it is. More to come!