Radish-ulous

Another day, another radish-ulous* conversation with Binderclips. 

Binderclips and I have been trying to focus a bit more on eating healthy and eating more veggies. I used to love crunchy carbs (like chips and pretzels) but whenever I crave them now, I eat some crunchy veggies instead. Because of this I've been packing our lunches with tons of veggies, but I get bored with the same old mix of carrots, celery, cucumbers - so, I switch it up. That's totally normal...but what is not normal is how Binderclips responds to change...in general.

Yesterday, I packed both Binderclips and I radishes. Around mid-day I get the following text from him (his texts are in gray):

At this point I'm thinking 'all he has to do is not eat them, if he doesn't like them'....but is it that simple to him? No. No it is not.

Then he sends me the following bitmojis, because I believe he continued to eat them....

Because I'm genuinely confused I respond with:

If you are imagining me responding to his "Don't Play" bitmoji by looking at my phone with a "you want some of this!?"** look on my face...hoping he can feel it through the phone or telepathically, then you are on the right track.

Today, I packed a few radishes in his veggies on accident (seriously, I have all the veggies in the same container and grabbed a few on accident when I was packing his veggie snack bag).

He takes the bag of veggies out of the fridge to put into his cooler and sees the radishes. He gives me a look, that can only be described as a look you would give to someone that has just slapped you across the face (in other words, in complete and utter shock),  then says "This is like a middle finger...in veggie form. Seriously!?"

Our girls look at the bag confused, because they have no idea what he's talking about (and have no idea what the middle finger is or means).

He looks at them and says "It's not a big deal. Your mom is just trying to put me in anaphylaxis." Then looks at me with a "you're seriously trying to kill me" type of look.

He's not even allergic to them, people...he's just THAT dramatic. I just start laughing in response. What else can a person do? Especially when dealing with someone so insane in the membrane...

There were maybe two in there people. TWO. Yep, it's a veggie middle finger alright. He's crazy.

Let's hope he survives the radishes today...and I survive his craziness. Wish me luck! Later gators!

*See what I did there? it's a play on ridiculous ;)
**Link to explain what this looks like, even if you are not trying to get into a fight with someone...but let's be clear, I was looking at my phone wanting to fight Binderclips in THIS case.

Wyoming Trip

 *The pictures included are pictures we took on our trip to WY

It's been a long time since I've posted anything....almost 2 years!! Where HAS the time gone?! My kids are getting older...I'm getting older...Binderclips is getting older. It's weird...

If you would have asked me 17.5 years ago where I'd be now, I would never have imagined that I'd be where I am. Why am I thinking about 17.5 years, specifically? Well, I met Binderclips 17.5 years ago. This year we will have been married 10 years. 10 YEARS!? At that point, the day we were married was one of the most impactful days of my life. It remains as one of the most important days to me. I don't know what I did to convince such an amazing man to want to marry me, but I did.

Falls Park - Sioux Falls, SD

Then my kids came along. First my oldest in 2011. The day she was born was a day of complete change for me both physically and emotionally. If I had to put words to describe the metamorphosis I experienced the day she was born, it was a likeness to ice melting into water. Not only did my state of mind change, but my physical state of being changed. A clearness in both that allowed me to value something outside of myself because it was a part of me...made up of me... and Binderclips... combined. There was a clearness of understanding that I was not only responsible for myself, but for this little beautiful being for the rest of her life. A softness took over me that taught me, quite instinctively to be a nurturer and a giver.

Badlands

Then, my mom passed away...right around the time my daughter was 6 months old. She passed away unexpectedly in my home, while visiting. It was truly heartbreaking. The moment I realized she had passed away, everything changed. Every. Single. Thing. From the moment before I learned she passed away to the moment I realized she had, I was a completely different person. First, my heart broke into a million little pieces that I sincerely felt (at the time) couldn't be put back together. In fact, from that moment on, for what seemed like years, I felt that way. I went (and still go) through the full gamut of emotions that you feel while grieving (it's a process that never really ends). I was so sad that I felt bad for having my daughter, not because I regretted it or thought I made a mistake, but because I knew she would feel the same pain when I pass away some day. I was mad that she had left, for a while. I mourned the relationship that could have been. Now I forgive her...for leaving me too soon...for making mistakes...and have a deeper understanding and compassion for the choices she made while she was here.

Mount Rushmore

The next biggest change came, again, after giving birth to my second daughter. The state of change that occurred when I had my oldest, happened again with my youngest. You become more aware of life. More present. More thankful. You learn to live and lead and most importantly, love deeper than you ever have before.

This takes me to this year. This year has also been a huge year of change for me. Not because things have changed around me, but because they have changed within me. I turned 40 this year and what did I want you ask? I wanted to go "home", to remember my roots, to re-explore significant geographical points to remind me of being a child....and that's what I did, with my family.

We took a trip to Wyoming, the state I was born in. I left there when I was 12, leaving my brother and my father behind to go live with my mother in Michigan. It was a decision I haven't talked about before and, to be honest, I'm not sure I want to. I missed my dad and brother when I left and all I can say is that a mother has a very strong hold on the emotions of a child...especially a mother who is only seen by her children during the summers.

Devils Tower

Anyways, the trip to WY changed me. I was able to see some relatives that I haven't seen in 25-30 years and meet some that I have never met before. Driving out there from Michigan was very reminiscent of my childhood. We saw some really amazing sights that I hadn't seen in a long time; Sioux Falls, Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Devils Tower, the Great Plains...but the most reminiscent
things were the sight of the Black Hills as we drove into WY. I remember seeing those hills on every drive to and from Michigan. The sight of them literally brought tears to my eyes.

Seeing my family also impacted me greatly. We stayed with one of my cousins and we realized that we are extremely similar. One of the ways we are most alike is in perspectives on life. She believes you can do anything you put your mind to and so do I, down to my core. But it's not only her that thinks this way, it seems to be theme across my father's side of the family. Whenever presented with a challenge of any capacity, it seems our first thought is "I can do that". There is never a question of what might stop us from completing something, instead we just move forward with confidence and enthusiasm. I always thought this was a trait specific to me, but after having spent time with my Uncle, Aunt and cousins in WY, I'm sure it's a genetic trait.

I also realized we are story tellers, some of us, at least. We love to talk about our experiences and laugh about them. The simplest interaction can result in the funniest of circumstances and we love to share the joy of laughing (either with us or at us) with you. This is definitely genetic too.

Things I learned on our journey:
1) My Uncle's stories are the best
2) My Aunt's hugs are the warmest and the most loving (much like the way I remember my mom's hugs being)
3) My cousin is a badass hunter and has and will continue to do great things
4) My other cousin is like the sister I never had and she can do anything she puts her mind to

My family

All in all, the journey back home reminded me to be authentic to who I am. It motivated me to continue to challenge myself, because I can do anything I put my mind to and also to keep telling stories because it's just what we do. I feel a new sense of purpose and belonging that only could have been realized from this type of trip "home". Thanks to my family for the reminder of who I am, I'm so proud to call you family.