The Eye of Chaos

Happy Fall everyone! I took this picture last fall. I hope you like it!

Hello Folks! How is everyone out there in blog world? Doing well?

Me, I'm doing ok. Had kind of a stressful week last week. Went home to find out my mom hasn't been doing that well (she has COPD - chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, CHF, diabetes, etc.) and had to be admitted to the hospital. She's doing much better as of today, however it's always hard to see someone you love struggling; I'm sure we've all experienced that at some point and if you haven't, be thankful, it's hard.

Although, during last week's happenings I learned something...

When Binderclips and I arrived at my parents' at first it was a shock. We live a couple of states away and only get to see our families, oh, I don't know, 2 times a year or so. Don't get me wrong, I still talk to my parents almost daily, but we don't get to see them that often at all. Anyways, what I learned is that when you are away from situations for long periods of time and are thrown right back into them, it's stressful and almost like a shock to your system.

Prior to moving I was involved in everything (really I still am) having to do with my parents. I am the power of attorney for my mom in the event something happens and still help/handle their finances on a regular basis. However, when my mom would end up in the hospital - I was used to it, I mean, seeing her like that. It was almost like the homeostasis of our family was chaos and I was really used to it (we all were). Almost as if, we had fought ourselves through the chaos of a tornado to find our way to the center of it, where the calm is - despite the craziness happening all around us we remained calm because that's what we were used to.

However, last week I felt like I was on the outside again and had to make my way back to the calm eye of the tornado. I wish I could have had a warning of some kind, honestly. As soon as we walked into my parent's home I was hit by the emotional tornado. My mom was having difficulty holding her own utensils to feed herself and couldn't walk as well as she had been able to when they came to stay with us back in May of this year. I felt like I was turned upside down and twirling all around in a tornado of emotions almost instantly upon arriving.

'Here comes guilt, this is going to hurt' I think as it hits me directly in the face. 'Oh, and here comes sadness ready for it's close up' I tell myself as it turns me upside down. 'Don't forget about defeat' as it slams me into the ground forcefully. By the end of the first day I felt really beat up and, quite honestly, like I had been through a tornado.

I learned that with pain and struggle come a lot of good. Even though I felt beat up at the end of the week, I know my dad and Binderclips felt that way too. I could at least take comfort in knowing that when I found myself back to the eye of the tornado my dad would be there waiting for me (and Binderclips and my brother) and that we were all in it together. It's a hard road but I wouldn't want to experience it without the support of the people I love the most surrounding me. Thanks Binderclips for wiping the guilt off of my face and telling me it had no right there.

Kind of a sappy post, but what the hey, ya know? I hope everyone has a great day today. :)

Happy Birthday Bro!

This is a picture from when I was 4 and my brother was 2....still, to this day, I think he was one of the cutest kids ever! And I'm sure you will agree after seeing this picture.

Anyways, I wanted to dedicate this post to my brother. Today is his 30th birthday!

Happy Birthday Bro!!!

Dear Bro,

First, let me say, that you (tearing up here) are my favorite brother. No, I mean it, you really are. Ok, ok, so you're my only brother, but even if I had 2, I'm sure you would still be my fav.

In all seriousness, ever since you were born you have brought so much joy to my life. From a very young age, I remember us always playing and having the best time together.

We have been through a lot over the years and have remained close despite the challenges we have been faced with. We have learned about life and (in a lot of cases) what not to do by watching some of those who are closest to us making mistakes. These life lessons made us both who we are today and you have grown into an amazing person, who I am very proud of. And even though we don't get to see each other often I cherish the time I do get to spend with you over the holidays.

Happy Birthday to the Best Brother EVER from a sister who misses you terribly. I hope you are having a wonderful day today!

As a side note, I'd like to mention that the sweater my dad is wearing in this picture is a sweater I still have and wear. It's my lucky sweater, it's been worn to many of tests over the course of my life. Thanks Dad!

As another side note, I'd like to say Happy Birthday to my Brother-In-Law. Today is also his birthday.

Adios folks!

She's Got a Leak

This is a story that goes waaaay back. When my brother and I were little we were, well for lack of a better term, LOUD. He had perfected noise making and I had perfected yelling at him to stop making noises. He liked to play with cars and make LOTS and LOTS of car noises as well as gun and bomb noises. This is usually how it went down:

My Bro: Vrrrrrrrrrroooooooomm, bang, bang bang. Scrrrrreeeeech, pow, pow, pow....

HulaBuns: STOP IT!! Do you HAVE to be soooo LOUD??!!

My Bro: drops a bomb on me then makes exploding noises

HulaBuns: OMG, MOM he's TORTURING ME! Please make him STOP!

My Mom: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, both of you!


This is where my brother and I could always meet in the middle and drive my Mom insane. If there was one thing we agreed on it was that when Mom made the "Shhhhhhhhh" noise it was OUR turn to terrorize HER.

My Bro: Uh oh, I've heard that sound before....

HulaBuns: Yep, me too. THIS IS NOT GOOD!

My Bro: Mom listen to me VERY carefully. You have an air leak somewhere and we need to find it.

HulaBuns: "Try doing this" I would say as I put a finger over my left nostril. "It sounds as though it's coming from around that area" I would say making a swirly motion around her face with my finger.

My Bro: Everyone just stay calm. Although I think I still hear something....


HulaBuns: "Me too. Mom, we've got a very serious situation here. Try doing this" I say with my right index finger over my right nostril and my left index finger over my left nostril.

We never seemed to convince her to do anything we suggested, however eventually made the suggestion to cover her ears with both of her hands. She actually would do this and I think it was because it blocked the noise coming from us out (ever so slightly) and usually helped our cause.

How bout you? Did you have any crazy antics that drove either your siblings or parents crazy? This was (by far) one of my favorites from my childhood.

As a follow up to this I plan to discuss Run Flat tires and a very confusing conversation Binderclips and I had about them. Look for that post coming soon! :)

Oh Forgetful One....

If you keep up with my blog you already know that my parents were in town from 5/17 to 5/26. That's right 10 days!! Actually, I have no complaints - I'm just thankful that they were able to visit.

SERIOUS WARNING! Keep reading at your own risk!

Anyways, what people might not know is that my Mom was in a fatal car accident when I was a sophomore in high school. She was the sole survivor in the accident; both the driver of the car she was in and the driver that hit them head on at 45 miles per hour died on impact. I took care of my Mom at home while I was in high school after that for some time since she was sent home with brain damage, internal bleeding, as well as other injuries until she could walk again (which, came years later). Well, the brain damage part of it resulted in the loss of my Mom's short term memory (she usually forgets things after a few seconds, sometimes minutes if you're lucky), which leads me to this fun story (btw, she's doing better now-a-days).

While visiting my Mom requested that she be able to watch the finale Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) episode. However, there was an hour long show on Monday 5/24 and then the 2 hour finale was on 5/25. She didn't know this is how it was going to be done, she thought there was a finale show on 5/24 and that was it. So, when they kept saying (during the 5/24 show) that the finale would be on tomorrow (again, 5/25), my Mom got really upset. We told her we could watch the finale show the next day and that seemed to calm her down. Although, what we had not anticipated is them showing the show from 5/24 immediately before the finale show on 5/25 - this is where things got really fun....

As I said before, during the 5/24 DWTS show they kept mentioning the finale show being on "tomorrow". Well, replaying the same show on the day of the finale was VERY confusing to my Mom, again - since she has no short term memory. Every time they would say "Watch the finale show tomorrow to see who wins" or something like that my Mom would throw her arms up in complete frustration and say "Tomorrow! I thought it was on tonight!!". To which, my Dad, Binderclips, and I would remind her that they were replaying a show from yesterday and that the finale was on right after it - TONIGHT. We did this for the entire show and it was really fun when the couples danced then got scored by the judges. Since my Mom had no recollection of the show she would wait in anticipation for the scores while my Dad would say (right before a judge gave his/her score) "it's going to be a 9, I just know it". When it was a 9 my Mom would be flabbergasted at how he knew what they were going to say every single time. It was great. Needless to say, we all laughed A LOT that night.

Anyways, living with my Mom and her lack of short term memory has taught me a lot. Namely, to be patient and even if I had to tell my Mom every day 2-3 times that "yes, we are going to the Nelson Atkins Art Museum on Friday", it did NOT kill me to have to repeat it. It's also taught me to be super paranoid about my own memory, for example this morning I woke up frantically trying to remember what I had for dinner last night....when I remembered I felt better and reassured myself that my memory was still functioning normally. Please tell me other people do this?? :)

Any who, have a great day everyone. Make Up Words Wednesdays will be back next week, but still feel free to throw a new word in the mix on this hump day!