Hand Gestury 101: What NOT to Do

Are you a hand gesturer/hand talker? Do you feel it's necessary to add hand gestures to what you are saying to effectively communicate what you are trying to say (I've also dubbed this 'handimation')? Well, the answers to these questions for me are yes and always. 

However, I've realized that non-hand gesturers find my handimation distracting. In fact, sometimes I will notice they're looking at my hands and not paying attention to a word I am saying. This isn't good, because in their defense, most of the hand gestures I make do not have anything to do with what I'm saying and are distracting.

Some of my favorites:

"I'm hungry. Want to get something to eat?"

Similar to "I'm hungry",  however instead I'm saying "So and so would like to talk to you" or "'Zip it".

Although, if I was doing this (see picture below) what do you think I would be trying to say to you??

Here are a couple of options:

1. "You want some of this? Cause I'll take my earrings off if I need to." If close enough to you an aggressive chest bump may follow (I may also be already taking my earrings and shoes off) accompanied with 'crazy eyes'.
2. "Look at this face, isn't this a face only a mother can love? Wait, don't answer that, I don't really want to know the answer."
3. "That's our parking spot jackhole"
4. "I was going to be a hand model, but look at these mitts! I'd never make it..."
5. "Do you think wearing this red fleece with the green shirt underneath is too Christmasy?"
6. "See these things (referring to my hands)? They are deadly weapons. Don't make me use my fierce and stealthy ninjaness on you."
7. "Aaaaaaaaay" said in a Fonzy-type way (if you never watched the show Happy Days, you have no clue what this means, just imagine Danny from Grease saying it).

Ok, let me stop there, I could go on and on with options, in fact, it's actually quite fun coming up with them. So any guesses?

Well, the answer is: "That's our parking spot jackhole"

However, it was taken as: "You want some of this?"

This is a lesson on what NOT to do when practicing hand gestury/handimation. While moving Binderclips to the Kansas this situation arose. We had a 20 or 24 foot long moving truck that we used to move his things and in tow was his car. Well, we needed gas and, as you know (if you have ever driven a truck that size with a car in tow), a significant amount of planning and coordination needs to occur to manipulate something that size into a gas station parking lot to get gas. 

We had spotted a pump we could get the truck into, but a lady in a teeny, tiny car tried to take our spot just as we were trying to pull into it. So, I made the above hand gesture thinking "that's our parking spot jackhole" (without Binderclips knowing). 

When Binderclips got out of the truck the lady said "Hey, your girlfriend is trying to start a fight with me", to which, he ignored her. When he got back into the truck he told me what she said and I started laughing thinking "What on Earth?! Yeah, lady I wanted to fight you" sarcastically. Then I replayed the hand gesture in my head and realized how she could've taken it that way. I told Binderclips and he decided that I was not able to make any more hand gestures the rest of the way home. 

My question, surely other people have these types of things happen to them, right? :)